Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Day 15: 2.0.12

I woke up this morning with my beloved's energy around me. I dreamed of him last night, but it was a weird dream. It didn't feel real, it felt like a regular dream (you know the mishmashness of things) because when I really dream of him and we have an important conversation with information I need to know there is always something that tells me it is a real connection with him. The way I know is that we always make love in our dreams firstthen talk about important things happening in his life and in my life. Incredible really--but haven't had one of those dreams in sometime. This morning's dream was just plain weird really. But that is not my topic for this post.

It occurred to me that today is 2-1-2012 and one month from this date I will be turning 40!! OH MY!! I can't believe, the last ten years of my life flew by. I have to say the years prior went awfully slow in comparison as I was vibrating at a lower energy level than I am today. Everyone is talking to me about turning 40 and how it should be a big bash or some kind of celebration and well I am thinking truthfully I would be happy alone at dinner with my twinflame, having my favorite Gluten free birthday cake, his arms around me and perhaps some roses from him. That is my birthday wish to be with him. However, in human world, I don't know if that will happen, but one can hope, right?

Instead, I may plan a dinner out with girlfriends or a quiet evening in with girlfriends. I haven't made that decision yet, but I know I need to do something for it! I know that if for some reason my twinflame doesn't show himself to me on my b-day (by the way, I say that because remember, we are not talking at present.) then I don't want to be alone. I don't feel old and I don't feel like I am going to be 40. I think I look pretty good and younger than what I think 40 should look like, but then again, I don't really think 40 has a look. It is weird to think of me turning that age as I didn't imagine that I wouldn't be with my beloved. (Always thought I would be with him at 37 --that is what I knew to be the truth when I was 7 years old.) Of course, that information was clarified to me last year that because some people are lightworkers with their lights flickering between on and off and not staying on impacted the timeline for many things including the reunion of the twins.

Anyway, I don't want to get stuck on the fact that he is not here, but I do want to fantasize a bit on him surprising me in the month of February. I wish for him to call me (unblocking his number of course--long story may share that at some point!) and tell me that he is ready and he is coming to me. He just needed to call to have my new address. I also wish for him to show up at my door with a rose (it can be one he even picks up at an all night gas station) and upon opening my door he tells me, "I remember. I remember now. I love you. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I have spent way too much time imagining life without you and I never want to do that again,. Tell me you still love me and want me." In which, I reply, "Of course dear man, I have always loved you from the first moment we spoke. I will always love you to our last breath. You are my beloved and I am yours eternally." Okay...that was the short quick birthday fantasy. Will keep you all posted on what happens and if it happens that way...of course him just showing up would be grand too...the words can always come later....just to taste his lips once again...

Quickly though, the optimism about the month of February is rising...I feel anticipation of what is to come....

No comments:

Post a Comment