Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Day 20: Days of Doubting

Yesterday's title was going to be "I got nothing." The truth is that I had something. It was Superbowl Sunday yesterday and when I woke up in the morning, I just stayed in bed an laid there thinking. I was wondering does my twin think of me the same way I think about him? I wonder does he miss me as much as I miss him? Does he remember that last year this time we got together after Superbowl? I wondered if during the game last night, I crossed his mind even if he was with a bunch of people. I wondered if he thinks about me as often as he crosses my mind. I really almost got stuck in the thought--at first the thought was simply a thought and then a sadness grew and I got up told my friend that I wanted to spend Superbowl Sunday in an absolutely different way than most people.

So, I decided it was Pamper April Day--it should become a national holiday really. So, we went out to have pedicures and then we watched a Lord of the Rings marathon. Besides, Aragorn from Lord of the Rings could help anyone take their mind off of the current situation or sadness; even if it is a twinflame thing. That writing never happened nor did it happen on Monday either, but this morning I started to write again.

It is night time and I didn't get this out this morning like I intended as I had other things happening. I have had so many doubts come up over the last week. I really need a sign...a different one than the 11's. I need something more than this inner knowing because even that is becoming doubted at this point in time. Perhaps it has something more to do with this energy of the full moon. Perhaps the doubting comes from that. Wherever, it comes from I have been feeling it stronger the past couple of days. And just to clarify--I do not doubt he is my twinflame--I will never doubt that: I do not doubt that he loves me--I will never doubt that--the doubt lies in if this is ever gonna happen.

Well, I am about to go and take the most wonderful detoxing bath a person can take and then off for a meditation under this Leo Full Moon in Pisces. Till next time..

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