I am sitting here getting ready for my day and a song just came on the radio...the following words rang out loud...Everything will Change, Love Remains the Same.
Stripping our humanness down to our spirit, that is what we are: Love. So doesn't that just resonate? Remember when you were a child and you got angry with your parents for something you felt they did? Or with a friend who hurt your feelings? Or with your child for something they did to disappoint you? Think back to those times: once you were able to get over that initial reaction to something that may have happened, what did you feel? I know for me...the underlying feeling is always love.
Think about all the things that have happened in your life. If we take all the pain, all the blame and all the confusion out of the way, isn't that true? Love for one another always remains the same. We may feel anger, frustration and fear, but after we allow ourselves to feel that, we realize love is still there.
Everything does change. I realize that I am evolving even as I type this message out. Life always changes just as seasons pass and we grow older and yet we are still who we are inherently. Many relationships come and go in our lives and yet after the hurt of those relationships has subsided we can come back to our essence of love. So often we forget that love is who and what we are.
I think that as I listen to this song…mind you the only lyrics I hear are “Everything Changes, Love Remains”. It is what I am meant to hear today. I meant to hear those words and nothing else for in this time the message for me is solely about love. It is a concept that is easily forgotten in the midst of everyday living because quite honestly most people live their life in fear; and if we are not vigilant on remembering we are love then we get caught up in the energy of fear as well.
Often long after a relationship has ended, even years later, I find myself still thinking fondly of someone I once loved. I feel love is there for each of the people in our life no matter the hurt. We can always go back to our memory banks and find those beautiful memories where we felt love. If we allow it, love will always remain it is the one feeling that is the true essence of who we are. I know that when I feel out of balance in my life then the changes don't feel so good and I forget that I am love. These words today have been a beautiful reminder of love.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Relationships: Road Map of Our Soul's Journey
Relationships are the single most important ingredient in a person’s life experience. It is impossible to live a life on this planet and not establish relationships with people or animals. A love relationship is the most prominent relationship in our mind whether we are single, married, gay or straight. The love relationship stirs up emotions, lessons and whirlwinds.
I asked my angels why are so many of our lessons tied to relationships and their answer is that every lesson we learn is tied to relationships. Our soul experience enlists other souls on this journey we call life to help us. My favorite book is The Little Soul and the Sun; it is a children’s parable adapted from the book, The Conversations with God written by Neale Donald Walsch. It is probably the most powerful children’s book I ever read and quite honestly I think every adult should read it as if it were a manual for their soul. It should be considered one of many training materials for the newly awakened souls on our planet. It provides probably the most beautiful definition as to why our relationships may be what they are for us.
Do you ever experience the same relationships over and over: Same person, same relationship, different face, and different name? That is because the lesson has not yet been learned. We have made pacts with many souls to help us learn on our life path. We have recruited people to come into our life and those pacts can’t be undone until we learn what we asked to learn.
I remember when I was younger I dated the same guy for several years. I say the same guy, but it was really a different person, different name, but the results were all the same. I hadn’t learned the greatest lesson of all which was to love me above all else.
The greatest lesson of all for each of us is that of self love and acceptance. It really isn’t about who loves us and if we are loved by another; it is about us being loved by us. Each relationship we bring into our lives is meant to show us who we are and to bring out our ability to fall in love with ourselves first.
It is also why relationships do not last forever and are not meant to last forever. We are meant to come together with one another for the time needed to learn what wisdom each of us has to impart to one another this time around. I know fairy tales depict a life where we are supposed to be with that one person forever; but the truth is that we are evolving human beings. What once worked for us may no longer work as we continue to evolve and grow on our journey. When we enter a relationship with another we make an unspoken agreement with one another about the dynamics of the relationship. That is to say that we each come into the relationship with our own baggage and at a place in the relationship that works for us. However, as we all know nothing stays the same and while each of us has a path that we are following we are changing. As we change, the dynamics of our relationship change and that is when it is time to look at the original agreement. Often times it no longer fits for both people. We become very attached to that which we know and are comfortable with; this is often why we develop fear about moving forward and resort to staying in a relationship that is not good for us or one that we know we have outgrown. The length of time of a relationship always varies on the individuals involved based on their own spiritual growth; sometimes we learn lessons a lot quicker than our partner and sometimes we learn our lessons together. This is when decisions need to be made about the relationship. A question we often fail to ask and answer sincerely is: are we both willing to work as much as needed for each of us to grow in this relationship? Sometimes we don’t ask because we don’t want to know the answer: either we are not willing or our partner is not willing to fully work on themselves in order for this relationship to continue in a healthy way. It takes both people to make it work. And other times, the answer is so clear that what once brought you together is no longer there. Regardless of what the answer is we need to ask ourselves in a very general way what do we want in a relationship and then face your relationship and see if it is what you really desire.
Many times people find themselves in a relationship that they realize is or has been over, yet they have stayed because of the financial stability aspect, they have children together or what others may think of them. The truth is that people stay only because of how they feel about themselves; the other things look acceptable and provide reasonable excuses for them not living their full potential. That is not to say that everyone should bail on a relationship that is hard---a relationship that presents difficulty allows for growth, but a relationship that has long been outlived represents someone stuck. This is when self-honesty and self love must come into play.
Often at the end of a relationship we fail to remember that it simply is okay to move forward and let go. Letting go is scary and I am not trying to minimize it as I have experienced my share of fear at the letting go of relationships, but I can promise you that it will be okay. It is always going to be okay. And most of all, we can never go back to where we were before this relationship because we are evolving beings who learn from each experience, and it puts us at the very least one step ahead of where we were before. With time and much healing, we often find our way clear to the next relationship. No matter what, relationships are our road map on our soul’s journey; each experience points us in our next direction.
I have to admit that sometimes I do need to be reminded every so often while I am in the midst of a relationship that it is something I am drawing to me based on what lessons I chose to learn in this life.
Sometimes it seems easier than others. I also tend to go back to a poem I wrote four years ago; it tends to really put my thoughts into perspective at the end of a relationship. I hope it helps you as well. Please see below:
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much love means…
Yes, it is easy to think I am talking about love from you, but
in that moment, I realized it is all about love for me. If I
showed myself half the love I gave to you, I would have had a
love with you that would have lasted a lifetime. But in failing
to love me fully I failed to let you see your power within.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much you gave to me…
You leaving sparked in me what I already knew—but failed to
recognize while I was with you…I already had the peace and love
I wanted—I had found it within me. I didn’t need you to complete
me—I was already complete when I found you—but I failed to see
that as enough even more so I sought for you to give it to me.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much I found…
Giving up myself to you, I didn’t love me the way I needed to
love me. I reconnected who I was within and took back the power
I freely gave away. I found that with or without you I am whole,
complete and loved.
I asked my angels why are so many of our lessons tied to relationships and their answer is that every lesson we learn is tied to relationships. Our soul experience enlists other souls on this journey we call life to help us. My favorite book is The Little Soul and the Sun; it is a children’s parable adapted from the book, The Conversations with God written by Neale Donald Walsch. It is probably the most powerful children’s book I ever read and quite honestly I think every adult should read it as if it were a manual for their soul. It should be considered one of many training materials for the newly awakened souls on our planet. It provides probably the most beautiful definition as to why our relationships may be what they are for us.
Do you ever experience the same relationships over and over: Same person, same relationship, different face, and different name? That is because the lesson has not yet been learned. We have made pacts with many souls to help us learn on our life path. We have recruited people to come into our life and those pacts can’t be undone until we learn what we asked to learn.
I remember when I was younger I dated the same guy for several years. I say the same guy, but it was really a different person, different name, but the results were all the same. I hadn’t learned the greatest lesson of all which was to love me above all else.
The greatest lesson of all for each of us is that of self love and acceptance. It really isn’t about who loves us and if we are loved by another; it is about us being loved by us. Each relationship we bring into our lives is meant to show us who we are and to bring out our ability to fall in love with ourselves first.
It is also why relationships do not last forever and are not meant to last forever. We are meant to come together with one another for the time needed to learn what wisdom each of us has to impart to one another this time around. I know fairy tales depict a life where we are supposed to be with that one person forever; but the truth is that we are evolving human beings. What once worked for us may no longer work as we continue to evolve and grow on our journey. When we enter a relationship with another we make an unspoken agreement with one another about the dynamics of the relationship. That is to say that we each come into the relationship with our own baggage and at a place in the relationship that works for us. However, as we all know nothing stays the same and while each of us has a path that we are following we are changing. As we change, the dynamics of our relationship change and that is when it is time to look at the original agreement. Often times it no longer fits for both people. We become very attached to that which we know and are comfortable with; this is often why we develop fear about moving forward and resort to staying in a relationship that is not good for us or one that we know we have outgrown. The length of time of a relationship always varies on the individuals involved based on their own spiritual growth; sometimes we learn lessons a lot quicker than our partner and sometimes we learn our lessons together. This is when decisions need to be made about the relationship. A question we often fail to ask and answer sincerely is: are we both willing to work as much as needed for each of us to grow in this relationship? Sometimes we don’t ask because we don’t want to know the answer: either we are not willing or our partner is not willing to fully work on themselves in order for this relationship to continue in a healthy way. It takes both people to make it work. And other times, the answer is so clear that what once brought you together is no longer there. Regardless of what the answer is we need to ask ourselves in a very general way what do we want in a relationship and then face your relationship and see if it is what you really desire.
Many times people find themselves in a relationship that they realize is or has been over, yet they have stayed because of the financial stability aspect, they have children together or what others may think of them. The truth is that people stay only because of how they feel about themselves; the other things look acceptable and provide reasonable excuses for them not living their full potential. That is not to say that everyone should bail on a relationship that is hard---a relationship that presents difficulty allows for growth, but a relationship that has long been outlived represents someone stuck. This is when self-honesty and self love must come into play.
Often at the end of a relationship we fail to remember that it simply is okay to move forward and let go. Letting go is scary and I am not trying to minimize it as I have experienced my share of fear at the letting go of relationships, but I can promise you that it will be okay. It is always going to be okay. And most of all, we can never go back to where we were before this relationship because we are evolving beings who learn from each experience, and it puts us at the very least one step ahead of where we were before. With time and much healing, we often find our way clear to the next relationship. No matter what, relationships are our road map on our soul’s journey; each experience points us in our next direction.
I have to admit that sometimes I do need to be reminded every so often while I am in the midst of a relationship that it is something I am drawing to me based on what lessons I chose to learn in this life.
Sometimes it seems easier than others. I also tend to go back to a poem I wrote four years ago; it tends to really put my thoughts into perspective at the end of a relationship. I hope it helps you as well. Please see below:
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much love means…
Yes, it is easy to think I am talking about love from you, but
in that moment, I realized it is all about love for me. If I
showed myself half the love I gave to you, I would have had a
love with you that would have lasted a lifetime. But in failing
to love me fully I failed to let you see your power within.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much you gave to me…
You leaving sparked in me what I already knew—but failed to
recognize while I was with you…I already had the peace and love
I wanted—I had found it within me. I didn’t need you to complete
me—I was already complete when I found you—but I failed to see
that as enough even more so I sought for you to give it to me.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much I found…
Giving up myself to you, I didn’t love me the way I needed to
love me. I reconnected who I was within and took back the power
I freely gave away. I found that with or without you I am whole,
complete and loved.
Monday, September 7, 2009
You Are So Beautiful!
The other night I walked by the mirror and caught a view of myself in it. I did a double take and I said, “wow, you are so beautiful.” That was an amazing revelation to me. The interesting thing is that I have for the last several years of my life always said I loved me and I have, but I had never said I was beautiful, but damn it I truly am.
I have always wanted to be the teacher who could and would teach people to fall in love with themselves, and yes I have been doing that; but what could be more amazing than me teaching it while knowing that I am falling in love with me all over again. It was such a wonderful feeling the other night. It was incredible really, I am a little high on all this…who needs to drink or do drugs when you can be so high on simply loving you?
I met someone and I shall call him “L” for now. When I met “L”, he forced me to look at me and come to the realization that I am beautiful. You wonder how that is possible? Honestly, I will tell you, if I was reading this I would be saying to me how is that possible that a man you love and are not with can make you see yourself as beautiful?
Well, I would have to say, “L” was the first man that I loved who looked at me when he met me and said with complete and utter sincerity, “You are so beautiful. You look like an angel”. That was four years ago. I knew that night he saw my spirit and I was very comfortable in knowing that my spirit was beautiful. When you are psychic you don’t see people the same any longer, you begin to see them as the love that they are, the potential of their growth and the true essence that is their soul so I could easily accept that he saw my spirit and thought it was beautiful. What I didn’t always allow me to know is that he saw me---April, physical, in person April with her spirit shining through her physical being. “L” is not and does not proclaim to be a spiritual person; if anything he is the opposite of me so all he could see was the physical April in front of him. I never doubted what he saw in me because he was so clearly speaking his truth in that moment, but I think perhaps I doubted my own beauty. I guess I never considered myself to be beautiful before. Yes, I loved my eyes and thought I had beautiful eyes, but my whole physical being, is it beautiful, was more of the question?
Still riding the high waves from the other night’s revelation, I decided to look a little more at me and what it is that I am working on...
Fortunately and unfortunately as you will learn, I am always working on me even when I want to run and hide which in the last few months has been quite often I can honestly say. The funny thing is that is what I love so most about me; I don’t end up giving up, rather I keep forging ahead to heal me.
I have discovered on this part of the journey I am working on feeling “good enough”. I learned a long time ago from my angels and guides that I often get the clearest messages by way of the relationships I have in my life; particularly with men. I think because the men in my life have been so unsure of themselves; I have used that to keep giving me reason to feel like I am not worthy or good enough. When, in fact, I know that their uncertainty and insecurity is not about me. When you think about it, it is like my own sick rationale for feeling unlovable or unbeautiful? (is that even a word?) Does that make sense?
The other day, I just got through saying to a friend that I wish I knew why people were in my life at the time they are there, but it appears that I end up learning the reason after the fact. I believe that I am there for people as much as I believe they are there for me. This time around I thank “L” for his love and his recognition of my beauty—it may have taken me four years to recognize what he did, but without him…I may not have.
I have always wanted to be the teacher who could and would teach people to fall in love with themselves, and yes I have been doing that; but what could be more amazing than me teaching it while knowing that I am falling in love with me all over again. It was such a wonderful feeling the other night. It was incredible really, I am a little high on all this…who needs to drink or do drugs when you can be so high on simply loving you?
I met someone and I shall call him “L” for now. When I met “L”, he forced me to look at me and come to the realization that I am beautiful. You wonder how that is possible? Honestly, I will tell you, if I was reading this I would be saying to me how is that possible that a man you love and are not with can make you see yourself as beautiful?
Well, I would have to say, “L” was the first man that I loved who looked at me when he met me and said with complete and utter sincerity, “You are so beautiful. You look like an angel”. That was four years ago. I knew that night he saw my spirit and I was very comfortable in knowing that my spirit was beautiful. When you are psychic you don’t see people the same any longer, you begin to see them as the love that they are, the potential of their growth and the true essence that is their soul so I could easily accept that he saw my spirit and thought it was beautiful. What I didn’t always allow me to know is that he saw me---April, physical, in person April with her spirit shining through her physical being. “L” is not and does not proclaim to be a spiritual person; if anything he is the opposite of me so all he could see was the physical April in front of him. I never doubted what he saw in me because he was so clearly speaking his truth in that moment, but I think perhaps I doubted my own beauty. I guess I never considered myself to be beautiful before. Yes, I loved my eyes and thought I had beautiful eyes, but my whole physical being, is it beautiful, was more of the question?
Still riding the high waves from the other night’s revelation, I decided to look a little more at me and what it is that I am working on...
Fortunately and unfortunately as you will learn, I am always working on me even when I want to run and hide which in the last few months has been quite often I can honestly say. The funny thing is that is what I love so most about me; I don’t end up giving up, rather I keep forging ahead to heal me.
I have discovered on this part of the journey I am working on feeling “good enough”. I learned a long time ago from my angels and guides that I often get the clearest messages by way of the relationships I have in my life; particularly with men. I think because the men in my life have been so unsure of themselves; I have used that to keep giving me reason to feel like I am not worthy or good enough. When, in fact, I know that their uncertainty and insecurity is not about me. When you think about it, it is like my own sick rationale for feeling unlovable or unbeautiful? (is that even a word?) Does that make sense?
The other day, I just got through saying to a friend that I wish I knew why people were in my life at the time they are there, but it appears that I end up learning the reason after the fact. I believe that I am there for people as much as I believe they are there for me. This time around I thank “L” for his love and his recognition of my beauty—it may have taken me four years to recognize what he did, but without him…I may not have.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
The Honey of Life
Seek out the honey of life or so the animal totem of Bee states. I was sitting outside today. What a fabulous day in the neighborhood, quite literally. I was typing away at my computer and a bee starting swarming around me. I didn't mind that he was there, but his buzzing was getting loud and me being allergic and all I didn't want to get stung. So I thought to myself quietly, go away. I thought a little more loudly go away. It kept getting right in my face and too close for my comfort. So I outloud said go away. It is funny--as an intuitive you have all these tools that you teach, but often forget to use for yourself. The first tool being to call on the ArchAngels as they will be there instantaneously. I did! I called on Archangel Michael who immediately came to my side with his sword and warded off the bee. I said thank you Michael and he said now you must look up why a bee has appeared to you today. And ...the honey of life was one definition while accomplishing the impossible is another.
I woke up this morning thinking I would love to have the day off. Of course, my alarm clock rang letting me know that it surely was time to rise up and go for my daily walk to start my day. Well, I got up went for a walk and enjoyed the cool morning air of a September day in Connecticut. I came home to find a message on my phone saying my 11 is cancelled and then my 1:00 cancelled too. Now when you have your own business and your appointments are your only source of income and well naturally most people tend to freak out--I used to as well. Today, I didn't! I welcomed the cancellations and decided to use the day in my way. I had a lot of things that I had been wanting to do over the last few weeks and yet I didn't have the time. I wanted so much to enjoy the beautiful weather and be outdoors; however, I needed the day to be productive so I brought the work outside to meet me in nature: brought out my laptop, extension cord, paperwork and phone. About 3:30 I thought to myself now if only I didn't have to drive to New Haven for my class, I would be even happier. So, I got up came back and found my class had been cancelled...all my wishes for the day were granted! Imagine that.
I worked all day outside and here I am writing to you from the back deck watching the sunset in the distance with the cool breeze (enough I had to get a sweater) flowing around me.
Earlier this afternoon, I sat for moments soaking in the beauty of nature and thought to myself I wish I could do this everyday. I got the clear impression that some day I will have this be my reality--writing out in nature so I get the best of every day. This day surely was the honey of life for me.
I woke up this morning thinking I would love to have the day off. Of course, my alarm clock rang letting me know that it surely was time to rise up and go for my daily walk to start my day. Well, I got up went for a walk and enjoyed the cool morning air of a September day in Connecticut. I came home to find a message on my phone saying my 11 is cancelled and then my 1:00 cancelled too. Now when you have your own business and your appointments are your only source of income and well naturally most people tend to freak out--I used to as well. Today, I didn't! I welcomed the cancellations and decided to use the day in my way. I had a lot of things that I had been wanting to do over the last few weeks and yet I didn't have the time. I wanted so much to enjoy the beautiful weather and be outdoors; however, I needed the day to be productive so I brought the work outside to meet me in nature: brought out my laptop, extension cord, paperwork and phone. About 3:30 I thought to myself now if only I didn't have to drive to New Haven for my class, I would be even happier. So, I got up came back and found my class had been cancelled...all my wishes for the day were granted! Imagine that.
I worked all day outside and here I am writing to you from the back deck watching the sunset in the distance with the cool breeze (enough I had to get a sweater) flowing around me.
Earlier this afternoon, I sat for moments soaking in the beauty of nature and thought to myself I wish I could do this everyday. I got the clear impression that some day I will have this be my reality--writing out in nature so I get the best of every day. This day surely was the honey of life for me.
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