Monday, January 3, 2011

Snippet on Trip Angst

Wow...I can't believe it is Monday morning and I am feeling 93% like me. I can't believe the luck of getting sick right after the Christmas holiday until today when I feel not quite 100% yet, but getting there. I am leaving the country in 3 days...I think the reality is setting in while I gather all my stuff together and figure out what to do next. I am so excited and so freaked out at the same time. The interesting freak out that I am is all the little details that I so disdain from day to day. The truth is that in the past I have always had the type "A" personality and now well that went out the window a good ten years ago and now I feel spontaneous and nonchalant. The truth remains that to a closet type "A" personality not planning each and every step of the way makes me appear the other extreme...but that really isn't the case.

So let's add a little more stress to my dad doesn't want me to go to Egypt. He has never wanted me to go out of the country really, but since I told I was going he has found something interesting to share with me the whole about Egypt--like a shark attack, tour bus deaths and then a few people in my circle of love told me about some other things that have happened or happen there. And toda, I woke to the information about a Church Bombing in Egypt on January 1. SO really? I think to myself as I think over the past month with all the little tidbits I learned and heard about Egypt. Honestly I am so oblivious to all that happens in society at times because I live in the new earth energy of a peaceful, love-filled paradigm which makes me a flower child to some and a crazy daydreamer to others, but to me makes me peaceful, happy and content.

I think all this being so busy, sick and not able to "prepare" for the trip has been a blessing in is as if my beautiful angels and guides that surround me want me to not think about those things...they want me to go with an open spirit and trust that all is well with this journey to a deeper level of my soul.

By the way, I chose the word angst to describe today's blog because it fits my state of mind...definition of angst from the online Urban Dictionary: Angst, often confused with anxiety, is a transcendent emotion in that it combines the unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation. Without the important element of hope, then the emotion is anxiety, not angst.

Well..just a brief snippet on my angst...I am off and running with my day.

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