I was prompted to share an article that I wrote back in 2009 because quite honestly it is pertinent to many people today. I hope you appreciate it as much I as I when I wrote and still feel the words ringing true as I reread them again recently...
Relationships: Our Road
Map on Our Soul’s Journey
Relationships are the single most important ingredient in a person’s life experience.
It is impossible to live a life on this planet and not establish relationships
with people or animals. A love relationship is the most prominent
relationship in our mind whether we are single, married, gay or straight.
The love relationship stirs up emotions, lessons and whirlwinds.
I asked my angels why are so many of our lessons tied to relationships and
their answer is that every lesson we learn is tied to relationships. Our
soul experience enlists other souls on this journey we call life to help
us. My favorite book is The
Little Soul and the Sun; it is a children’s parable adapted
from the book, The
Conversations with God written by Neale Donald Walsch. It
is probably the most powerful children’s book I ever read and quite honestly I
think every adult should read it as if it were a manual for their soul.
It should be considered one of many training materials for the newly
awakened souls on our planet. It provides probably the most beautiful
definition as to why our relationships may be what they are for us.
Do you ever experience the same relationships over and over: Same person, same
relationship, different face, and different name? That is because the
lesson has not yet been learned. We have made pacts with many souls to
help us learn on our life path. We have recruited people to come into our
life and those pacts can’t be undone until we learn what we asked to
I remember when I was younger I dated the same guy for several years. I say the
same guy, but it was really a different person, different name, but the results
were all the same. I hadn’t learned the greatest lesson of
all which was to love me above all else.
The greatest lesson of all for each of us is that of self love and
acceptance. It really isn’t about who loves us and if we are loved by
another; it is about us being loved by us. Each relationship we bring
into our lives is meant to show us who we are and to bring out our ability to
fall in love with ourselves first.
It is also why relationships do not last forever and are not meant to last
forever. We are meant to come together with one another for the time
needed to learn what wisdom each of us has to impart to one another this time
around. I know fairy tales depict a life where we are supposed to be with
that one person forever; but the truth is that we are evolving human
beings. What once worked for us may no longer work as we continue to
evolve and grow on our journey. When we enter a relationship with another
we make an unspoken agreement with one another about the dynamics of the
relationship. That is to say that we each come into the relationship with
our own baggage and at a place in the relationship that works for us.
However, as we all know nothing stays the same and while each of us has a path
that we are following we are changing. As we change, the dynamics of our
relationship change and that is when it is time to look at the original
agreement. Often times it no longer fits for both people. We become
very attached to that which we know and are comfortable with; this is often why
we develop fear about moving forward and resort to staying in a relationship
that is not good for us or one that we know we have outgrown. The length
of time of a relationship always varies on the individuals involved based on
their own spiritual growth; sometimes we learn lessons a lot quicker than our
partner and sometimes we learn our lessons together. This is when
decisions need to be made about the relationship. A question we often fail to
ask and answer sincerely is: are we both willing to work as much as needed for
each of us to grow in this relationship? Sometimes we don’t ask because
we don’t want to know the answer: either we are not willing or our partner is
not willing to fully work on themselves in order for this relationship to
continue in a healthy way. It takes both people to make it work.
And other times, the answer is so clear that what once brought you
together is no longer there. Regardless of what the answer is we need to
ask ourselves in a very general way what do we want in a relationship and then
face your relationship and see if it is what you really desire.
Many times people find themselves in a relationship that they realize is or has
been over, yet they have stayed because of the financial stability aspect, they
have children together or what others may think of them. The truth
is that people stay only because of how they feel about themselves; the other
things look acceptable and provide reasonable excuses for them not living their
full potential. That is not to say that everyone should bail on a
relationship that is hard---a relationship that presents difficulty allows for
growth, but a relationship that has long been outlived represents someone
stuck. This is when self-honesty and self love must come into play.
Often at the end of a relationship we fail to remember that it simply is okay
to move forward and let go. Letting go is scary and I am not trying to
minimize it as I have experienced my share of fear at the letting go of
relationships, but I can promise you that it will be okay. It is always
going to be okay. And most of all, we can never go back to where we were
before this relationship because we are evolving beings who learn from each
experience, and it puts us at the very least one step ahead of where we were
before. With time and much healing, we often find our way clear to the
next relationship. No matter what, relationships are our road map on our
soul’s journey; each experience points us in our next direction.
I have to admit that sometimes I do need to be reminded every so often while I
am in the midst of a relationship that it is something I am drawing to me based
on what lessons I chose to learn in this life. Sometimes it seems easier
than others. I also tend to go back to a poem I wrote four years ago; it
tends to really put my thoughts into perspective at the end of a
relationship. I hope it helps you as well. Please see below:
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how much love
Yes, it is easy to think I am talking about love from you, but in that moment,
I realized it is all about love for me. If I showed myself half the love
I gave to you, I would have had a love with you that would have lasted a
lifetime. But in failing to love me fully I failed to let you see your
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how much you gave
You leaving sparked in me what I already knew—but failed to recognize while I
was with you…I already had the peace and love I wanted—I had found it within
me. I didn’t need you to complete me—I was already complete when I found
you—but I failed to see that as enough even more so I sought for you to give it
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how much I found…
Giving up myself to you, I didn’t love me the way I needed to love me. I
reconnected who I was within and took back the power I freely gave away.
I found that with or without you I am whole, complete and loved.
My wish for you is that I hope this holds meaning for many of you who have been
struggling inside about the letting go of a relationship in your life...may you
find peace within.
Love to you,