Friday, March 9, 2012

Day 52:

Today is the 52nd day on my journey to keep the faith about my reunion with my twinflame. Today I woke up and felt a little different than I did the past few days before. If you noticed, I was filled with hope and excitement about my reunion with my twinflame. Today however, I didn't feel as much enthusiasm. Is it because I believe less? No. It is because I discovered something today about me. I discovered that I have some fear. The fear is located in my is a body memory that I am ready to release now that I discovered it was there. The body memory is connected to fear I feel with regard to my twin. There is so many fears all wrapped into one as I right this I get this image of an elastic band ball, did you ever see one of those?
That is what I have as a visual in my mind right now. It looks colorful, but complicated; it really isn't if you take one elastic at a time. So I guess, I have been pulling off the elastics so to speak. The elastic I found today was that I have some fears with my beloved. I am afraid that he will not come to me. I am afraid that he was so wonderful last week when we conversed, but was that just a one time thing? I am afraid he hasn't changed. I am afraid he won't come to me. I am afraid he will forget me. I know, I know as I type this I am well aware how ridiculous this all sounds. But that was my new discovery. I now know what the fears are and now it is time to overcome them and just trust.

The message I got over and over is that he has changed and to see him as changed. I often hear listen to him...allow him to show himself to you. I want to, but there is this learned behavior that I have developed in this lifetime perhaps it has a seed from previous lifetimes too (I am tingling so that is a yes). It is time to unlearn and come back to fully trusting and realizing that his behavior isn't about me. It is about him dealing with the stuff he has to overcome. I know I teach not to take personally what someone else says and does, but I sometimes forget especially when it comes to my twinflame; perhaps because he and I are so similar in so many ways.

So for tonight, I am going to embrace these fears and work through them one by one. How appropriate, is the evening of the full moon...perfect timing to release... Good night world....

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