Today's Message: (Definitely Twinflame Appropriate)
I came across this message I wrote several years back as I was cleaning out my computer--(trying to make room for some additional memory) and it screamed out to me to share with you all.
"People need loving the most when they deserve it the least." - John Harrison
Hmmm..imagine if just once we didn't take personally what someone says or does and we just continued to love them. I wonder how much that would change us and change them? Okay, it sounds difficult at best when feelings are involved and we feel hurt, but that is always a choice too, ya know--to allow ourselves to feel hurt. (Believe me this is a hard one for me to digest at times too.) But what if the next time someone says something hurtful or makes a choice that really makes you feel icky---what if you treated the situation as if that person were a child who when sent to get the “paper” meaning newspaper, brought you a piece of plain paper instead of the newspaper? You wouldn’t stop loving that child, would you? It was a simple mistake. You would probably laugh or give them the opportunity to try again. It is not always easy to change our perspective—that I know for sure, but if we try to step away from the emotional reaction in that moment, we can change not only our reaction, but perhaps the direction of where we were headed in that situation.
So my thoughts for you today are: Try this in your life. Change Your Perspective. GIVE the person who “pushes” your buttons, who acts impulsively, who acts without conscience, who speaks without thinking, who reacts out of fear: LOVE. Love them and know they are just like us trying to navigate through their life and these times of change to the best of their ability at this moment. Often when someone does something that hurts another –there is no intention to cause harm, they are just behaving the way they are in that moment because that is all they know. Quite often it is such an unconscious response. Like a child not necessarily comprehending that “paper” could have more than one meaning. I suggest that for one day you just try this…Show Love even when you don’t feel it…it will change your life….LOVE LOVE LOVE
Someone in my life did something that hurt my feelings last week...I was angry and started to react...so I was driving in my car and shouting out at this person (my car is my sacred place truly!) and then I decided to shout out to them, "I LOVE YOU. IIIIII LOOOOVE YOU." Do you know that it changed not only my mood, my vibration, my day and it even changed my feeling about what happened. It opened my eyes to so much that I wasn't seeing because my emotional reaction before that overrode any rationale. It was incredible and it can be incredible for you too!!
TWINFLAME SIDENOTE...I do this with my twin. Those of us who are twinflames probably experience unreasonable behavior, unconscionable actions, and often disregard from our other half. Does that sound familiar to you? It certainly is familiar to me. And yet, I still love him because there is a part of me that knows his behavior, words and actions are not always his own. Over the last several years as an Intuitive Counselor, Spiritual Coach, Psychic, I've discovered that children learn at a very young age patterns of behavior that they carry into adulthood. If they do not do some of their own self-discovery and healing, this is often the place they react from and they tend to draw in the same/similar situations to maintain or compound that learned behavior. In the case of twinflames, we are the ones most confronted by this problem and can identify it with enough intuitive savvy or the help of another Twinflame, preferably with intuitive skills that can see past the proverbial veil. I am available for individual sessions and group work as well. As a twinflame, it is our job to transmute these patterns/behaviors/beliefs not only for ourselves and and our twinflames, but for all of humanity. Each couple has come in with a mission to transform relationships at every level--when twinflames come together in full physical union there is a divine mission that as a couple you are to carry out, but before, during and after, our mission is to help clean up humanity's blockages within in themself that keeps each person from living the life they are meant to live.
For example, I had an experience recently with my twinflame. I will share in hopes it helps you understand not only the above comments, but also our role as a twinflame. The plan was for him to call me on a specific day and time because there was something we agreed on doing. Needless to say, he did not call. Now when he did finally call my reaction was/is never what he is expecting, but he is already on defense from his previous experiences in this life. Initially when I didn't receive the call I felt hurt and disappointed, but I asked Spirit to help me to understand this experience, feel it and take it away from me for two reasons: I didn't want to perpetuate the disappointment and lower my vibration and I didn't want to amplify this energy to be sent to him (remember your twin whether in contact or not, FEELS EVERYTHING you say or do).
As I sat with this, I discovered two things: he didn't want to call me because I expected him to (this is his way of gaining control in his life) and he also wanted to manipulate the energy so that he could create a guilt for himself. Why you ask? Hmmm...well at first over the years, I had not understood this and I had struggled with his behavior, but as time as gone on and I have opened to what was really going on and seeing him more than just the love of my life hurting me because by no means do I think he does this intentionally.
I gained clarity into the whole situation by just staying in balance not disappointment or frustration--basically I CHOSE LOVE. So what did I gain, you may ask: He chose not to call me to feel in control. It was as if he said, I am not going to meet your expectation of me, I am in control. It came to me that this is a behavior of rebellion for him. Is he rebelling against me? No, in fact, I know that is not the case. However, my feeling is that throughout his life he has failed to meet the expectations that others have placed upon him, whether reasonable or not, (more likely unreasonable) and how others reacted (particularly his family to him from a very young age) really created damage to him. So, he is just programmed to not follow through in fear that he won't meet the expectations so "let me take control and do what I want, you are going to yell at me anyway" attitude. This is why he is often ready for a fight when I am simply just saying hi. Now this brings me to the guilt part. My twinflame has had a mis-perception of what love is, means, feels like. What does that mean? His wires got crossed with regard to what love is. (again at a young age because it is in childhood where we develop patterns, beliefs,etc that only get compounded upon as we grow up.) Guilt is a powerful emotion that invokes in him that he must love someone if he feels guilty. My feeling is that at a young age the people he was closest to in his family dynamic often made him feel guilty and he interpreted it as this must be what love feels like. Remember we don't come in with all the knowledge of human dynamics--yes we come in with love, but then the family dynamics, attitudes, behaviors quickly get placed upon us and we "forgot" that purity of love. With me, he doesn't automatically feel guilty, but he does love me. So he needed/needs to recreate the guilt feeling so that his "love" for me makes sense. He has to unlearn that love and guilt feelings are not the same. This is the crossed wires.
Children learn at a very early age how to react, behave and deal with life circumstances, as a matter of fact, it becomes completely ingrained into the patterns of who they become. This programming is completely capable of being unlearned and changed, but each individual must come to terms with understanding this. As a twinflame, we can help our twin to undo this pattern, again whether we are in contact with them or not. It is as simple as self discovery within us. To some degree, I have/had this same belief of love and guilt--often synonymous with Conditional Love, but I have overcome most of it. Clearly, there is still some there left for me to see the pattern within him. To undo this pattern, is to do just what I did. Recognize his behavior, try to understand the place it is coming from remembering to love your twin unconditionally.
I know this is truly a deep topic for twinflames and likely a common thing that is not easily seen on the surface. On the surface, it appears he was being selfish, and yes, you can view it that way especially if you see his need to be in control, but digging a little deeper, he was just preparing for failing even before he did and the thing is to help him learn that he may not fail. Choose to respond to him with love has and does make a difference in our communication, but occasionally depending on what is happening in his life, he may revert back to old programming, and we just work again to heal it.
I hope to share more of my relationship wisdom with you, but please know that while this pertains to twinflames, but it can be useful in other relationships too.