Day 11 of Our 45 Day Journey

Good Morning Beautiful Being of Light,

I was preparing for this morning’s class message as I do every day, but I have to preface it with saying that I was mistreated in my physical healing since the beginning of my car accident. I also had many people tell me I wasn’t in pain and that I was struggling when I only needed to choose love, change my thoughts and I would be fine.  By the way—hard to choose love, change your thoughts, when you cannot speak/express fully due to a concussion, have lack of sleep for 3 months and in constant, excruciating pain with no end or care in sight—yes that is just a bit of what I underwent for nearly two years.  I was victimized horribly by the medical profession and lack of care. But long after I continued to stay trapped in that energy to some degree.  It has only been since I have been thinking more clearly, the last couple of months (the symptoms are beginning to clear up—thank heavens!), that I realized I allowed (did you catch that ?), I allowed them (the medical world, people who didn’t understand my pain, people who couldn’t possibly comprehend what I was going through clients and friends included) to get in my head and keep me feeling unworthy, a burden and crazy.

Now, if you have been with me on this journey—you know that I have questioned everything and appeared nothing like a victim, but inside of me I tended to beat me up. I tended to hold the victim mentality to a small extent, but nonetheless I have held it by way of forgetting what I already knew to be true.  Now, I do understand that there were things I did not have full control of and the medical system is set up to victimize people.  They want to create victims whether they are consciously aware of it or not and they do whether it be the full fledged victim behavior/mentality or like I did—forget the knowledge I had deep within me.   

I share my story with you so that you can understand there are times we all get caught up in the trap of it—we live in a society that embraces victimization and drama.    Now saying all the above,  please know I am well aware that things happen out of our control, but we have to remember we have the power to overcome it once the "situation" has happened.  It may mean work to change our view/thought/perception of what has happened.  I have done it many times in my past about many different things that have happened to me throughout my life.  Now, the new lesson for me is with regard to the Medical World and how I am here to speak my truth and change things—not how they will determine for me who I am.  This is really deeper than I expected to go when I started writing this morning.  I hope it bring some enlightenment to you as well.
 
I realize that there are some things out of my control, but now that I am thinking more clearly, I need to get a handle on what it is that I can do.  I am noticing there are many people around me that have been accepting less than they deserve too perhaps with a similar victim mentality without even noticing it.  Hmmm...really interesting perception.   Really some work to go in changing the energy.  It is time for a shift!  I'm ready.

Love and light,
EstaRa