Thursday, April 5, 2012

Day 79: Destroyed a Pillow

It has been a few days since I last wrote my blog post about me and my twin. He continued to call me up until Tuesday. I believe he is away. I always know when he is away even if I don't speak with him--I just feel it.

Today was a difficult day. I woke up this morning and had a little pain in my left hip and then I cleaned and my hip got worse. I've been in some horrible pain today. At first, I thought it was because I was holding onto anger. I am frustrated with my twin for taking so long. He is supposed to be here. I am not supposed to do this alone. I have always known he is out there and I finally found him and where the heck is he now? He should be here with me. SO I grabbed a pillow and single-handedly destroyed the pillow--I mean the stuffing came out. I beat it up shouting and crying. Then I thought that would make my hip better, but no such luck. Later in the day, I wrote and wrote and wrote.

I realized something different. I had tears today not because he is not with me, not because I was waiting but this time because I know he will be here soon. I have truly looked for him all my life and I found him and soon he will be here with me. I long to love him and tell him how much I love him everyday. It is so powerfully, beautiful to recognize love when you have it and to know it is going to be better than we can imagine.

I am getting ready for bed, but wanted to write. This journey has not always been easy and I am talking the journey of being psychic. It definitely has been fun, but surely not always easy. I feel this sense of relief for it is soon...

Just a little while ago, I talked with my twinflame's spirit and told him that I was sorry for having such high expectations, sorry for rushing him to learn his lessons, sorry for pressuring him; I never want to hurt him. I only want to love him. It felt important that I acknowledge those things.

Anyway, I am tired and need to go to bed now...

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