Just woke up. The group circle hasn't ended yet--DebRa is not back in our room. I am wide awake now, I wonder what time it is. I reach over the clock and only 40 minutes has passed from the time I laid down in my bed and fell asleep. I feel like I slept for hours it was marvelous.
Now as I sit up in my bed, I feel so many feelings. So much has happened in this day...well this whole trip really. Tonight, I kept feeling my lifetime in Egypt. The lifetime I spent a lot of time healing last spring. It was one of my lifetimes as an Egyptian Woman. I think it must have been here in Luxor or not far from here. The vibe here makes me feel it more.
Last spring, this life came to me in full focus. I think I need to preface this post with the fact that I never used to believe in past lives until I started to experience them several years ago now. This particular life came to me in a flash of about 13 different lives I had had when I asked a question about my twin. (I was more doubtful back then---but after Egypt there is no longer any doubt left. By the way, I am saying this for you all as well as for me.) To this day, I wasn't sure why the 13, but now as I type this I am feeling that those particular 13 were the ones that were most similar to the life I am experiencing today. I know that my twin and I have always been in lifetimes together, but not always in the same capacity. So, if you are one that is a little skeptical about past lives don't worry it is understandable as I was a skeptic at first. And, the truth is that a few years ago I only had a glimpse of that life and didn't really know much about it until last year and tonight I keep seeing images of it.
So the life goes a little like this, I was an Egyptian woman of a pretty high family status. I was single and free to walk around the village and the markets. There was a man that I was in love with. He was a Hebrew Slave. He worked very hard in the hot sun alongside many other "slaves". They were digging something from what I could see in the vision/memory. As an Egyptian woman, my attitude was very self assured and I was pretty independent and it appeared could do what I wanted. I was known for sure by all the people in the markets and village. I definitely had status as I was dressed quite well. I was in the market and I saw my love. (We had secret meetings and met several times secretly. I don't know how that happened, but it appeared that way based on what I did see.) On this particular day, I walked over to where he was working. He was a very dark skinned man from working in the hot sun. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at me. We conversed and as if he forgot himself, he reached his hand up to touch my face as a gesture of love. (His eyes were the same eyes of my twin in this lifetime. I knew instantly it was him.) At that moment, an overseer of the slaves' work came over and used some sort of weapon that was like a staff with a knife on the end and killed him. This is all I had until last year and then last year, I started to get even more information. (I was devastated at the thought of him dying because of loving me, perhaps that is his fear in this life...if he loves me openly he will die? I know that is a very simplified version of what I am saying, but it makes sense, don't ya think?)
All that happened, but what I didn't realize was that I was not only of high status, but I was to marry someone to bring our families together. He was killed for loving me. I also discovered that I was pregnant with our baby and we were planning to escape together and my meeting him in the village was to confirm that that night we would run. When the guard killed my beloved, I was taken back to my palace where I was sent away. I had not only embarrassed my family, but caused more strife because I was not "pure" for this "Holy Union" that was set up for me with the other family. I was sent away during my pregnancy and then when the baby was born, I was not allowed to keep it. They took my baby from me as I could not have a slave's baby especially when I was to marry someone of my class. Oh how I cried at the thought of not only having lost my beloved, but our beautiful creation as well. It explains a lot to me about my life today. I am feeling a lot of sadness and tears. I hear the group coming back from the circle so I must get back to sleep--no time to cry now even though that is truly what I would like to do at this point.