Day 34 of 45 Days: Epiphany

Good Beautiful Saturday in CT.

Sun is shining after a few days of clouds and gloomy weather….I needed that when I woke up this morning—it has been a tough couple of weeks both physically, emotionally and mentally.  I’ve had very little sleep now in over a week and I am not used to this.  I am choosing to take it as a sign that I am getting better.  So onto today’s snippet.

Almost 25 years ago, I was doing some work on my spirit, but not completely in the way I do work on my spirit now. I was living at home with my parents and attended traditional therapy bi-weekly (haven't been to therapy in 22 years..now I have other tools). It was college break and I worked two part time jobs. My daily morning routine that summer (it took an hour and half to complete and I loved it!) was to wake up, ride my bike to a park in the town I lived in. I would pack with me a bottle of water, a piece of fruit, a book to read, a journal and pen. Sometimes I would take a yogurt too!  (Boy, thinking about it—some things never change—if you know me—I still take all that stuff with me, only exception is that I don’t take yogurt now!)  I'd park my bike and walk the park. After the walk, I'd make my way back to the bleachers to sit and relax. I would sit for a few minutes looking gathering in my "taste of sunshine". Then I would lie down on the bench and notice how good it felt to rise early in the morning on a summer day. After a few minutes of meditating, let’s face it that is really what it was, I’d sit up and say my prayers, eat my breakfast and decide to read or write in my journal. (As you can see I was always prepared.) It was so powerful for me-- I contemplated life...sometimes I did more writing than I did contemplating and other days I did more contemplating.  Often I would ponder bits of wisdom that would come to me; when I think back the wisdom I had as a 19 year old was far beyond my years—and quite honestly therapy wasn’t able to truly help me because I too was beyond what they could comprehend.  But I digress, I want to tell you about one particular day.  One morning I finally got it, I grasped very clearly a simple message that came to me.  It was so life changing and simple that most of us overlook this fact—believe me it was so profound that I would compare it to the message Yeshua gave me that summer day about “I am the Way”, the one I wrote you about early on in this class.  You will be amazed at how simple this is or you will be like “yes, I know”.  Well, either way stay out of your head with this one, step away from your ego that says yes I know, and open your heart  like that of the little child within you learning a new thing for the first time. The truth is—this is something we inherently know, but have forgotten and; even with the awareness, it gets forgotten at times as we get lost looking outside ourselves for the answers. You know what I mean, right?  Okay, okay onto it already:




No one can tell you they will love you forever because the only person in your forever is you. So you have to love yourself. -April Ann D’Amato

Do you we really comprehend it? Go ahead read it again.  Does it invoke in you the real meaning behind the words, not just the words?  Let your little child remember his/her first steps on the path of life when they discovered they can dress themselves, played dress up or got ready for the school play and looked in the mirror and felt true love for themselves for the first time; let me rephrase that, true “SELF-LOVE”.   It isn’t that you have to love yourself, but if you do, you will never really feel alone, you will always have love in your life, you will begin to make choices for your well-being not out of fear/patterning/loss.  There is so many doors that open when you love yourself.

To this day to read it...it pulls me back to the moment when I first discovered this all important truth. I remember I was walking on cloud nine when this came to me. So simple, so easy to comprehend or is it? So simple and real I should have known it, but I didn't feel it till that day. As much as I have felt it, reading that statement is just what I need to "remember" from time to time...I hope it sparks something in you too.   The point being you need to love yourself because you are truly the only one who will always be there for you.  Interesting thought isn’t it?  It is about ownership/responsibility/self-love and truth.   On that day, it occurred to me because my grandmother told me that she would be there for me at least until I graduated high school, but she actually died when I was 9 years old.  I was devastated and there started the fear of not being loved, the fear of abandonment and the patterns that needed to be corrected. It took me years to have this realization and I can honestly say I worked really consistently upon my self-love and there did come a time not too far off in the future after this epiphany that I had did I recognize I loved me, I value me and I am worthy and deserving of the life I desire.  It has empowered me to love me more, faith that what I feel inside of me is truth and courage to endure being single until the time is right for me.  (I say courage because my twinflame journey has taken a lot of faith and courage to keep on its path.  It would be so easy to give up and settle like most people do and not wait for real love, but that one phrase above propel me forward always.)  I hope this helps you too.

Pardon me for the wordy snippet this day, but spirit tells me to write what I feel and sometimes my feelings can be wordy....

Some thoughts for you to ponder:

What does that one sentence mean to you?  Does it change you?  Will it change how you view the “wanting/needing/expectation” of relationships and/or love from outside yourself? 

Where do you feel what I wrote in your body? Do you have a physcial, mental or emotional reaction?

Energy Thoughts: Part II Choosing Your Timeline

Hello Dear Ones,

I left off with half my "Energy Thoughts" done and half the channel done. I wasn't kidding in the last message that I was downloaded with so much information and that it took a long time for it to integrate into me.  (By the way--it is still integrating.)  So this is the continuation of the last message.  Yes, imagine if you will if I included this all in one email, you would never forgive me for keeping you on the computer reading. hahaha. 

Just a quick apology about the length--It is A LOT to read, but it is really worthwhile!!  Imagine me typing for 4 hours straight.

Quick Recap:  Powerful download from the Great Central Sun, Solar Flares, Collapsing of Timelines, Clearing, Clearing, Clearing, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah oh and Creation and Power too.  For more info on previous post, click here.....http://aprildamato.blogspot.com/2015/06/energy-thoughts-clearing-your-soul.html

Let's pick up where we left off  with the last bit of channeled message....

 Remember dear ones, you have all the timelines crunched together so you are literally clearing for all of those lifetimes too. You are clearing for your soul lineage. What if you didn't clear? Then your creation would be distorted.  Your emotions fuel everything!  For example if you say "I choose peace today", but underneath/behind that you are "angry at (fill in the blank)"; well, peace isn't what you are projecting into your reality and therefore your creations and reality will reflect the "angry" not the "peace".  It is important to align with your soul's truth at this time to assist you in this process of clearing and creating.~The Arcturian Masters of Light. 

Okay so let's talk about emotions.  Those are the marvelous and not so marvelous things that we feel day to day.  The things that we have never really been taught about how to do them.  We have never been shown that the rainbow of emotions from anger, sadness frustration to joy, excitement, happiness, and all those in between and around are a normal part of the human existence. It is the natural indicator for you to navigate your life choices/decisions/experiences.  However, having not been taught that those feelings are normal and having lived in a society when everything has been suppressed that is not deemed acceptable, the confusion sets in, and well many of us get stuck (read: trapped) in the emotions. I often refer to this as the "spiral of hell"--believe me when you begin to really understand, you too, will refer to it as well!  I'm sure some of you know what I mean.  And those of you who have been with me a long time, will remember my phrase "You must feel to heal"?  I used to say it all the time until Vaseline Intensive Care stole it and began using it as their slogan. hahaha Seriously though, we are meant to feel, as that is the only way through the emotions, but even more than that, it is an honor to feel.  Other dimensions do not get to experience what we do!  If we look at our emotions, feel them and learn to understand what the message is,  then we can use them simply as ways to navigate our reality--therefore, we are able to create our reality to look the way we would like it to.   Ahhh--the tool that has been kept a secret for a very long time. Hmm...stop for a moment and really think about that.

"Dear ones, you are in/on/experiencing the new earth, do you feel it?   You keep looking for old ways to do things--waiting for things to show up, but guess what dear ones, the things you are waiting for are already here!   Perhaps you didn't know where to look for them or how to look for them, but the first thing  you must know is that everything you have or will so desire is already here and happening.  Your reality has always been of your creation, dear ones, but,  the tools to create it as such have been hidden from you.  It wasn't until now in recent earth's history that you have been capable of receiving the energetic coding  to create due to the massive out pour of light upon your planet. You beautiful human beings have decided that the old ways of living no longer serve, but only a few; so you are invoking your highest selves to create from the various dimensions of existence in your human earth 3D Reality to select the most appropriate timeline of your soul's expression of truth.  EstaRa, just a took a moment to reread the sentence we just channeled through her.  Yes, you have been working in higher dimensions to anchor into your 3D/5D reality what it is you each wish to experience going forward. The difference is that now you will continue to do so from a co-creative role with your multi-dimensional self in your day to day reality that wasn't available to you, due to the constraints of 3D living upon your planet.  Over the last several earth years, several of you have been awakening and experiencing the tremendous shifts to your mental and emotional bodies along with the clearings, do you know that which we speak of ?  In the more recent earth years, many of you are beginning or have been anchoring those shifts and changes into your physical bodies as well as physical realities.  This is what is propelling your earth along on her ascension.  With this knowledge, it is important for you to understand that the power you hold with in you is what matters most.   The understanding of what is transpiring is beyond human comprehension; however dear ones, please note that the magnitude of change is the greatest your planet has ever endured with human embodiment."  ~The Arcturian Masters of Light

Now, there are some of you who think that just simply thinking positive or doing affirmations is enough to create the world you want, but if you read the words above again, it will help you understand.  Let me copy them here:  For example if you say "I choose peace today", but underneath/behind that you are "angry at (fill in the blank)"; well, peace isn't what you are projecting into your reality and therefore your creations and reality will reflect the "angry" not the "peace".  Many new age marketing schemes promote that you need to "act as if".  (I call them schemes because they give you partial information perhaps that is all they have to offer to you, or they don't believe they need to clear up their karma and energetic field; either way it is not sufficient in this new energy.) Well, when people tell you to act as if, they are both right and wrong at the same time.  To "act as if" if there isn't real truth or belief behind it is what gets people stuck/blocked, or they get to move forward and then stuck/blocked again. Does this sound familiar?
You can't act as if you have emotional/mental/karmic baggage because it will interfere with your manifesting/creation abilities; therefore, you manifest in distortion.  This is what my guides are referring to when they suggest that you perform clearing.

They want you to clear the karma, clear the emotions, pain, suffering, etc.  How? Well as the timelines continue to press upon you, the emotions will surface (and you know they will), it is not meant for you to jump into the boat and sink in that "spiral of hell" because what you are experiencing at that moment is not necessarily what you think you are experiencing. The energy is compounded with that of all (read again: ALL) your timelines sharing the same or similar lessons, along with the "stuff/gunk/ick" (to name a few) of other humans going through similar clearing. (Remember the last channel, The Arcturian Masters of Light said "no one is untouched". )  This is a time where all lessons are amplified to help you (read: force you) to face and heal through your karma. (read: clear, clear, clear what no longer serves you!)   As stuff emerges/shows up/stomps on you/knocks on your door, it is important to look at it, (it could be emotions/feelings/frustrations/patterns/relationships/etc) and determine what it is you are being shown. To process the information, you acknowledge what it is, accept it (read: feel) and determine if it is something you want to keep or let it go.    By the way, when I am speaking about Karma, I am often referring to the bad ick of it, but the truth is there is good karma too.  As the energy continues to unearth (remember the earth captures all of the "stuff" from each and every timeline) through activities such as volcanoes, earthquakes--more "stuff" with surface for you to process.

Let's go back to what we started with in Part I, Timelines.  The process above describes how you consciously choose your timeline through clearing your soul lineage. Huh? Every choice you make brings you closer to one timeline over another.  In essence, you decide if you want something to be part of you or not.  It doesn't mean you are getting rid of everything it means you are choosing to let things fall away that are not in alignment with your soul's truth.  That is how you choose your timeline, every statement you make, every thought you think every feeling you feel. -- it is a form of conscious co-creation.   Let's step back for one moment, if we do not clear the feelings, particularly the unacknowledged feelings, they take over and then the co-creation will be distorted.  It is more about you being quite present with yourself, your truth and your mission on the planet.   This is is how you ultimately choose your timeline.  Once you actively take part in co-creating your life by the choices/actions/beliefs you take, the other timelines will begin to drop away.

With the advent of the Solstice, you have been downloading new light codes for your multidimensional bodies as well as new potentialities; thereby allowing you to access all that you have desired for yourselves and your earth mother.  Through the light code transmissions you have been receiving, there are energetic keys to unlock codes within you as well as codes in the locations that you are presently living in.  This will assist you and the earth during the transition years. The clearings that have occurred over the last several years will continue dear ones. We ask you to see them more as opportunities to grow rather than the painful, losses that some of you feel.  We understand dear ones that consciously creating your life is such a great responsibility, one you are not used to; it is how it was always been meant to be.  
 

We honor your journey for we know it is not easy and we honor you for that.   You have chosen to incarnate at these times to assist humanity with its great shift and the earth in her great transformation by enabling the process of clearing karma that has long held your planet in a holding pattern.  Dear ones as you move through these clearings and the process of choosing your timelines, know that you are not only clearing, but you are accessing and calling back your power from those various timelines as well. You are now being given the tools to create a new world, one with vast opportunities and expansion. Now you are stepping back into who you were meant to become. It is with love, honor and respect that we bring you this message today.~The Arcturian Masters of Light

Some final thoughts for you.

This process of clearing, choosing, accepting, creating will remain an intensive schooling over the next three years as 2018 is a key year in the new earth space.  Be willing to look deep down inside yourself and your situations to the point where you are able to feel your feelings and not allow yourself to get trapped by them.  For when you get stuck within the feelings/emotions you not only prevent your growth and evolution, but you keep yourself from manifesting what you truly desire. 

We have the greatest potential now to be and do anything we want.  We are in this ultimate new beginning phase of creation and the tools are being provided to us with the help of the starbeings.  I have been told by a couple of friends, astrologers and my guides that July 16, the next new moon, is like a reset button will be pushed.  My guides explain that it is an opportunity to clear out some of those timelines (not all) that include stuff that you have clearly moved away from.  If you are curious as to what it is you are clearing away, take note where your attention is drawn away from.  Use these next few years to identify what it is you need/want for you, what is you wish to experience on this journey and what the earth looks/feels/is like, that you would like to live upon.

It is important to align and stay in your soul's truth as much as you can; it is not easy to stay there because you will bump up against other people's truth--not everyone's journey is like yours.  As you move forward on this path, the choices you make are how you are selecting the timeline you will /wish to be on.  I've been performing Energy Body Upgrades and Alignments once again which are designed for helping you to be more in alignment with your soul's truth and highest good for your life plan.  Your highest good is always in alignment with your soul's journey. It is what your soul knows.  It will always make appropriate choices for you.   (If you would like more information about them, please feel free to contact me.)


Hope all you beautiful light beings are experiencing much love and a brief encounter with calm.  I say brief because there is literally so much happening it is anything, but calm.

With love and light to you all,
EstaRa April



Feel free to share this energy update as long as you give credit to me as the author.  EstaRa (April D’Amato). ©

Day 22 of My 45 Day Journey

Good Morning beautiful people,

So in this journey of paying attention to my thoughts--again it just happens now--it isn't like I am constantly thinking to myself, "what am I thinking", instead, the vigilance just happens when you immerse yourself in the energy of change.  I've been spending less time on the computer these days--which is really great for transforming my life so that is why I am not posting a daily blog--which by the way, I found myself upset about at first, but then it occurred to me --this is my journey and I need to do what is best for me. I found that I am spending more time taking care of me--which is by far most important.  

So today, I share something very personal that I discovered on this Journey of Removing Negativity.  Yesterday, I felt negativity/old beliefs creeping in. I had a phone call with a dear soul, my twinflame, that I haven’t talked with in awhile.  He asked me how I was doing and if I was working, and I said, "yes, but very little still because I can really only take weekend appointments at this time with all the physical therapy appointments I have going on."  He asked me how much money I was making.  Now, many of you may think he is just asking because all he cares about is money, but in truth he is asking because he  is worried about me—he knows that I literally live day to day and never know how I am going to pay things.   It has been quite the struggle over the past couple of years and he is well aware of it, but that is not the point—the point is that in the instant he asked me—the flow of the conversation changed, or I should say I changed it for a few minutes because I became really uncomfortable with it.  I reacted almost defensively, but not that he would recognize that, but I sure recognized the feeling building inside of me. I felt embarrassed that all I can do is 2 appointments per weekend and once in a while 3 and that I don’t make a lot of money.  He asked why? Again, I emphasize, he asked me out of love not out of any judgment--he is worried about me and yet he doesn't want to say that because saying that would make him uncomfortable so instead he asks the things that logically make sense to him. (boy do I ever understand him--I love him deeply and he without really understanding it I am sure, loves me just as deeply.)   I said. "physically I can’t handle more than that and right now I am still trying to heal and still in a great deal of pain."  He said, "what does that mean?"  I told him,  "It means that I carry myself like I am fine because I don't want to dwell on the negative, but in reality I feel a great deal of pain and exhaustion most of the time. In addition I am doing everything I know to heal myself.   I am in so many doctors and Physical Therapy all over the state—let alone I am still trying to recover my body, driving all over for appointments and then extremely physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted after the appointments."  (I will not go into it, but let’s suffice it to say that I do not  have the greatest insurance, as it is only accepted 40 minutes from me in either direction for Physical Therapy.)  

Anyway, I was able to catch what I was feeling/experiencing and then I was able to reframe it as I talked to him getting our conversation back to "comfortable" for me.  I said, "I am so proud of myself for being able to work that much and yes, I am well aware that it isn't a lot of money and it keeps me scared, but the reality is that three months ago I wasn't able to do this at all and for the most part I can be consistent with a few cancellations here and there."  I was able to look at how far I had come even if to the observer--it may not be very far at all.  So, back to the feeling of embarrassment and insecurity.  After I hung up with him, I sat for a few minutes and pondered what had happened, and what I discovered is that him asking me those questions brought up my insecurity and my feelings of being less than—I felt in that moment unworthy of him. OMG I thought I had worked on that, that thought immediately came to mind, and then I said softly to myself--yes, you have, but here is another layer.  This has nothing to do with him. It  has all to do with "little April" who feels she is not good enough because she is not like everyone else.  She is different--she is in pain, she is a burden, she is poor, she can't even take care of herself. It really brought me out on a truthful/painful tangent.  What is different this time is that I realize those are "little April's fears" and she is comparing herself to physically healthy people her adult age with expectations that she had for herself prior to the car accident.  This is a different experience than healthy people. I need to honor where "adult April" is at during this time.  She needs to know that she is worthy, loveable and capable to healing.   So rather than beat myself up, I was able to talk to the little girl in me and tell her that this is temporary to feel this way and her focus should be on remembering that she is healing and, she is valuable,  she is abundant in love and friendships, that money does not dictate who she is, she is perfect as she is: lovable and worthy.  At the end of my "little session with myself", I discovered even my twinflame thinks I am lovable and worthy otherwise he wouldn't hold a concern for me as he does.   I realize when I change my perception it really does make a difference, because had my twinflame and I had this conversation 5 years ago, I wouldn't have seen that he does find me lovable and worthy, instead I would have felt he didn't think I was good enough.  Wow not only is my twinflame growing with love--so am I.

Wow such profound work, without really working. In essence it took me only 15-20 minutes to work through all of this--our phone conversation only lasted 10 minutes and I spent a good 5-10 minutes clearing this belief.  I realize that the universe may show it to me again to ensure that I've really cleared it.

May you have some amazing discoveries for yourself on this path today...

Love,

EstaRa 

Day 19 of My 45 Day Journey

Good Morning Warriors of Words, Thought Transformers,

I can't believe it is Day 19 and the last entry I made was Day 11.  Have I mentioned that time is in actuality moving more quickly?  I can't seem to find enough time in my days to write -not to mention we had a holiday mixed in there and I unplugged from the internet for the weekend.   With all my driving to doctors, physical therapy appointments, chiropractor appointments, etc--I feel wiped out at the end of my day and the last thing I have been wanting to do is write.  

However, I have discovered that I really like having the opportunity for self care in the evenings so about 7:30 or 8 p.m. I close down my computer and go into my room and do a little light stretching (in recent time, the light stretching has gotten a little lighter due to all the healing I have been finally receiving--YES finally found good people to work with!).  This journey is helping me to reconnect to me in different ways some are old-new ways.  

Yesterday's snippet I emailed out is below.  My writing is in the blue-grey and the words from an article called, How to Stop Negative Thinking are written in italics and in white. I had some good self discovery in just writing out my snippet yesterday.

 Today, I’d like you to view Negativity a little differently. I’d like you to see that there are, in fact advantages to thinking negative.  Yep, I  just said that there are advantages to thinking negatively.  I didn’t say there are necessarily “positive advantages to staying negative, but I did say there are advantages.  For when you stay negative it creates the energy of stagnation, lack of change, which keeps you safe and protected. Hmmm, what does that mean?  Well, take a look here at a snippet from the article: How to Stop Negative Thinking below.   Under each section, I wrote some questions down for you to journal about.  The least this can do is get you thinking.

Thinking 'the worst', expecting failure and betrayal, seeing downsides where others don't, even seeing positives as negatives - all convey a kind of insurance policy. "If I expect the worst, then I won't be disappointed when it happens."

This used to be such an easy trap for me when I was a kid, I had a lot of disappointment growing up so in my early 20’s I always thought that way and when things went right, out of nowhere, I would be “surprised”.  Think over your life and experiences, in what areas/situations have you(do you) done this?

Another 'advantage' to negative thinking is the 'I told you so' syndrome. For some, it can feel more important to be proved right in their negative predictions than to have good things happen (and therefore be proved 'wrong').

Wow, another reminder of how I used to think too.  This “habit” started when I was in my mid-20’s, perhaps because my ego started to get a bit bigger and I saw what people thought when I (or others) was wrong so I was determined to be right.   Interestingly, what I also discovered is that with my car accident and not being heard by doctors, being mistreated by doctors---I found that I really want to be heard!  Therefore, I almost got caught up in this "told you so" syndrome.  Mind you, I have never exaggerated about my symptoms and body pains --if anything I downplayed much of it, but still not being heard made me want to prove to them (the doctors) how bad I really am which again would have gotten me caught up in that  "Spiral of Hell" as I like to call it. 

How does this play itself out in your life?    By the way,  there are people in my life (friends) that always think they are right and will actually argue with me when I know what I am saying is right--they are so afraid of looking like they are wrong--they will go on and on--and I finally just give in to them and say ok. (of course, they (friends) don't realize that I am doing that--and some (others observing) may view that I am being a pushover, but really it is simply because I realize they too "want to be heard" or want to "feel important", and perhaps that is the only way they feel heard is if they are "being right" whether they are or not.)

Before I get too positive about negativity, here's a thought: The habit of thinking negatively doesn't just predict how likely someone is to become depressed, but also predicts how likely they are to suffer all kinds of other illnesses later on in life as well.  I'm not suggesting that negative thoughts alone produce illness, but they don't help.

The most common negative thinking mistake… to describe himself as a 'realist'. Of course, anyone who strongly holds a belief think they are being 'realistic' in holding it, whether it involves green men from Mars or honest politicians.

The 'more realistic' proclamation is a favorite of cynics everywhere. And in a way they are right. But only because thinking negatively causes us not to try - or if we do try, to give up sooner - so the negativity itself influences results. Self-fulfilling prophecies really do happen. Research has even found that what we believe about our health can have more bearing on how long we live than our actual health. 

This is a favorite of those around me all the time!!  I used to get caught up in the trap of listening to people tell me to be realistic.  I am quite the believer of love, imaginer of big dreams and seeker of truth, but I have met more than my share of people who freely offer their opinions on my life, and are “trying to look out for me”,  “just don’t want me to make the same mistakes they did” or “really believe the worst will happen”.  Now, those people I just mentioned really do believe they are trying to help me, and that would be fine and all if I didn’t/don’t allow it to get in my head and mess with my dreams, goals and aspirations.  But, unfortunately sometimes they did/do and it undermines what I am trying to do.  If there is one area that I need to work on---it is likely this.   I do think friends and family can be a culprit of this; however, I do also believe they have the best interests in mind.  It would behoove us to choose to accept where their intention is but risk making our own “mistakes”, that is, if there are mistakes to be made.  One way, I learn to counteract this is to go into my heart, not my head, and find my truth there.

So, negative thoughts can plague us even when things seem to be going well: "It's too good to last!" Negative thinking distorts perception.

Now, to really do this journal entry/exercise justice would be to really look at your life, experiences, interactions and reality honestly.  No one is there to judge you—not even you (if you remember, this is a no-judgment zone)!  The more honest you are with yourself the more you will be able to transform your life.

In love,

EstaRa