Day 20 of 45 Day Journey: Fear of The Future

Good Morning Beautiful Beings,

Today’s snippet is about Fear. Recently, there has been a lot of uncertainty about the future and it seems to only be getting worse. While it seems all the things we have come to accept as a sense of stability are being removed and light shed upon them, the future and fear of the unknown seems to be taking hold for many. 

While that may be the feeling that is coming up, it isn't a feeling that has to last and stay with you. Everything is changeable. EVERYTHING! 

This  snippet "Being with Uncertainty" is taken from the Daily Om with my own interpretations, questions and tips for dealing with fear. The Daily Om information is contained within quotes.

Being With Uncertainty: Fear Of the Future

"Though much human fear is based on uncertainty, foreknowledge does not always ease the mind. It is often when our futures look brightest that our resolve crumbles and we veer off course. "

Do you recognize this in your life? Whether it is a personal goal such as daily meditation or a goal toward obtaining a new job? Does it seem we let go of working hard or being consistent because it appears that we will have what we want? Take a few moments now to look back at times in your life when you were so close to your dreams, and suddenly you started to change your patterns, and not necessarily ina good way. (Ever notice it is almost a form of self sabotage?  Did you know that self-sabotage is a form of misdirected self-love?)

"We can recognize that success is on the horizon, but we cannot discern how it will impact our lives. Because success can affect us in complex and unpredictable ways, taking us out of the status quo and pushing us into new circumstances that test our limits, the mere idea of attaining the life of our dreams can shake us to the core. Fear of the future is often closely intermingled with the fear that growing into your own potential will both change you irrevocably and force you to face situations that you aren't ready for. It is normal to unconsciously project ahead into the future and see success as a great weight bearing down on you. It is important to remember, however, that all the life changes the future will bring will be implemented into your life slowly and gradually."

This is sometimes how hard to recognize because it often happens on an unconscious/subconscious level.  But often with anything in our life, once we head in the direction of our dreams and really begin to remove blocks, the floodgates of love, support and light come in our direction making it possible for success to happen.  Now, it may appear that things are moving too fast, or too quickly, if that happens you can ask your  Angels or your Guides to slow it down and make it more comfortable for you...they can only help if you ask.  Don’t forget that this applies to your healing journey too!  So most people think of success associated with specific goals such as I mentioned above, a new job or a practice of daily meditation, but it has to do with your own healing journey.  Sometimes we can begin to clear out the old, outdated beliefs and it gets scary and begins to move too fast for us.  We often project out into the future that we want to heal, but underneath it all we are not quite ready to do the work. And hey, that is totally okay, but it is far less painful  to learn to recognize that about yourself. I often talk about removing layers when we are healing. Sometimes after several layers get removed, we may need integration time which could be days, weeks, months and even years.  It is completely unique to each individual. Think about different areas in your life where you get “scared”, again you may mistake that fear as if someone/something outside of yourself is triggering you, but trust it is your internal guidance system asking you to slow down. 

"When we visualize the future, we tend to focus on outcomes rather than the steps we will take to reach those conclusions. Thus, we may forget that growth is progressive. Your soul longs to fulfill its purpose-a purpose you agreed to in the timelessness in which you existed before your birth. Because of this, neither you nor the universe will set any circumstance before you that you are not capable of handling."

This is a good reminder when we are faced with life's obstacles...remember to breathe. And recognize that you ultimately are the creator of your reality.  And focus on the next step rather than the final outcome. Now this doesn’t mean you are meant to control the outcome.  But it does mean that you focus on the next step. So for example, you want to make cookies (it is the holiday times so I am thinking of baking)?  The first step is look at the recipe.  The next step is how many do I want to make to determine if you are doubling the recipe.  The next step is making a shopping list for the items you will need to buy.  (Notice I didn’t say the next step is to bake them? We can’t bake them if we don’t have the ingredients.)  And so on.  The point here is that there are steps to that which we wish to manifest and have happen in our life.   We can’t get from point A to point Z without B through Y.  Know what you want to manifest, know your goal, but bring your focus daily on that which you need to do next. 

"Fear of the future can paralyze you, preventing you from living in the moment and from working toward your goals in a mindful manner. The key to conquering this fear lies in awareness. When you can identify the irrational thoughts that frighten you, you can replace them with logical, self-affirming ideas."

Do you recognize your fears with regard to your future?  Again, future can mean many things to

many people: the new relationship that you wish to manifest, the job change that you are looking for, the thought of being physically healthy and able or others.  I remember a time when I had, had a car accident in 1998 and I was put out of commission for a long time—difference between then and now—I had proper care right away, I had health insurance from the beginning, I had a job that provided disability, etc.  (Mind you, I had none of that , this time around; I digress.)  Back to my point, I remember when I was working, I would get up go to work and literally come in the door at night, and strip on my way to my bedroom and go to sleep until the next day—that is how much pain and how tired I was because of the pain; then I would get up and start all over again the next day.  This was my norm.  Then I started all kinds of alternative healing things, including Reiki and boy did my life start to change. I started to feel better and I started to have more energy.  So I would come home and now stay awake until 8 and not longer in bed at 6; and then I continued to get better.  What was scary to me at first was, what the heck do I do with myself ?  My life was changing. I had gotten really comfortable in my discomfort of being in pain and not living; now here I was living. It was a little scary to say the least, but what is interesting is that no one would actually suspect that because why wouldn’t anyone want to get well?  It wasn’t that I didn’t want to get well—it was that I didn’t know what to expect anymore.  That is when my life really started to change when I realized wow, I don’t have to be afraid—I can be excited for the future and anticipatory.  With all that being said, look at your life and recognize times and even now when you have fears coming up to plague you?  

What thoughts are you allowing in that fuel your fear? 

"If you are afraid that you won't be satisfied when you accomplish a certain goal, remember that no one achievement represents an end in and of itself. And if you fear recognition or feel unworthy, consider that even now you are deserving of praise.  Should fear of the future strike you as you strive to create, to excel, to grow, and to evolve, assert your courage. Assume that your fear is based on a false assumption and quell it with facts. Try to disregard past patterns and focus on the present by stilling the inner voice that comments critically on all you do. Tell yourself that the inevitability of your success is based not on luck or a universal mistake but on your already established talents, drive, imagination, and inner strength. Each time you overcome your fear of the future, you chip away at its very foundations. Eventually, you will clear a gap through which you can gaze upon the future with unhindered optimism."

In what areas of your life do you notice your greatest fears? What are the fears that come up? How can you alter that thought process?  Do you recognize patterns/behaviors/thoughts/discomforts that you experience or perform during those times of fear? If you don’t recognize them (we all have them), then it is time for you to start to pay more attention and become aware.

Some tips for working through the fear of the future:
1. Remember to Breathe. Always an important shift in your energy when you stop and take three long breaths in and out.
2. Live in the Moment. This will give you the ability to make decisions in the moment and not get caught up in the past or the future..it will simply allow you to take life as it comes. (Not always the easiest one to do, but it gets easier the more you practice it!)
3. Simply live. When the fear creeps up, choose another train of thought, one which will make you smile and feel a little bit of happiness. It will raise your vibration and keep you out of the fear. Each time you practice this it will get easier and easier.

Energy Thoughts: Magic Carpet Ride

Hello Everyone,

The last week has been the most uneventful week.  As I say that, I think over the week and about how so much has happened.  The week started off with a Mercury moving direct and changing the energy to one of forward movement and then the week slowed down to a sluggishness (complete halt) on Wednesday, but then by Thursday morning I woke with the change in the air.   Even looked right at my clock that revealed the time as 5:55. If you know Angel Numbers at all, or you know my life at all….that number signifies big change in the air.     The whole day seemed to move more quickly than it has in the last couple of months.  Now, I know I said in last week’s update, that it was the fastest Mercury Retrograde ever in terms of time (the truth is that it FELT like the longest ever), but since moving direct energy hadn’t  picked up as quickly as one would have hoped.  I can honestly tell you that I kept hearing after March 6….well it is after March 6 and yep the day moved through rather quickly yesterday and as I sit down to right this it is nearly noon already and I feel like I just got out of bed.    So momentum is picking up/building rather to the explosive/sprouting of the Equinox coming.   

Some of you are in the trenches of hell as one of my friends recently put it to me and others are beginning to come up for air.  Some days in February, I could tell you I didn’t know which category I was residing in because all day long every day it seemed to changed back and forth, but I am happy to announce that I in the latter.  Air anyone?  I have lots of new, fresh air coming into me…I am so grateful!  I feel completely blessed during these miraculous times on the planet.  So it depends on the goggles you are wearing as to what you are experiencing or seeing, but either way you are definitely going to experience this magic carpet ride.   (It is funny, I find since my concussion that while I may have some other deficits with my brain—it appears that my inner vision has expanded a great deal so you are getting some of my visuals I hope through words, for example, the magic carpet ride—I actually saw  Aladdin on his magic carpet. Assuming that is the correct Disney character.  As I type this, my guides laugh and say, does it matter who was riding the carpet?  You all are! Hahaha)

Where is this magic carpet going to take us?  To the land of dreams.  More specifically, where?   Well, on a global level to times of great change.  Exposure of the breaking (tearing) down of the current financial/government/religious systems that have been controlling how people make their way in this world.   In the next couple of months, all eyes are on us (the Americans) to stand up for what  we believe is truth---we are the only country that hasn’t had the breaking down (well yes it has, but there are many that are asleep to the fact that nothing is working or better yet—in denial of it!)  and the next few months give rise to many opportunities to show the world our dissatisfaction. (If you have followed my journey at all, you will know or at least be aware of the many injustices I have experienced since the car accident of last year; though I know many of you do not know the extent of which, but that is not necessary just yet, but believe me I will be speaking out to the world about how the so called medical system, disability system, etc.)  Pay attention to the news that is going to be exposed and shown to the world about what has been happening. Now, I saw news, but I don’t mean CBS, NBC, ABC---that news is all controlled and does very little at informing you what really is happening in the  world.  For example: I’d like to pique your interest, with the following bits of new stories for you to search on your own.  Iceland jailing their bankers and giving the money back to the people or taking back their government.  Protestors at the White House were arrested simply for protesting fracking.     As an earth human, it is our responsibility to make this world a better place.  Stand in your truth, find others that are standing in the same truth and gather together to transform the world you live in.   It sounds a little daunting of a task to tear down the system that has been in place for so long, but if you ask anyone who is living by way of this broken system you will see that it is anything but working!  If you can get past your old beliefs/ideas/energy that has been driven into you (rammed into your brain) by society you will be able to come to terms with the fact that things are possible outside of the constructs of mainstream belief systems/societal structures, etc.

As for on a more personal level,  the carpet is taking us to the land of our dreams/changes/transformations.  You’ve been dreaming right? Clearing out the old baggage/careers/relationships/people?  (If not, get clearing because the universe doesn’t like to create from sloppiness.)  This really is the time for your dreams to start sprouting up for you/come true!  Magic is happening at the very core of each soul on the planet –whether they are aware of it or not and whether they like it or not….it is their soul’s truth trying to surface.  Remember, last report, I told you that it would be really tough for those that still have work to do(read: those not embracing their inner truths).    Are you making way for your inner truth?  Are you listening to the divine guidance inside of you?  If you are, then you are going to begin to see (if you haven’t already) the sprouting of the long awaited dreams to make their  way into your physical reality.   If you are not listening to your inner truth, then those things that have been preventing you from dreams will make their way more loudly/clearly into your physical reality.    I know most of you know where you lie when it comes to this inner truth issue so you will know what is sprouting up: weeds to be removed or flowers to enjoy. 

Meanwhile, I started this report on Friday morning and never finished so I am finishing this now.  Here in the northeast, we had a beautiful sunshine day yesterday so I needed to get a little sun and spent a lovely day with lovely people for a baby shower (for those of you who really know me that is literally my first social event since my car accident of 2013—it was the perfect day to escape!)  I woke up this morning (Spring ahead was last night) and it feels the energy is shift forward, looks like that caution flag from last week is getting ready to be taken down.   This morning, is yet another beautiful spring day and as I looked out my window…the most beautiful Hawk appeared on the tree outside my window—feeling so blessed.  I feel like he is a the harbinger of good news, magic and miracles!  Spring really is the time of planting and sprouting.  New ideas/truths/beliefs are and will be popping up both globally and even personally.  It might not be time just yet, but start writing those ideas down, storing them for in the very near future you will see the time will be right for you to start manifesting those.  You are going to want to move forward soon and the with the coming energy this month the momentum of breaking free will keep coming up.   The closer we get to the spring the more the energy of wanting to be free will surface.  So no need to worry if you are someone in the category of having things to break free from.  It is time!  I’m getting that image of a magic carpet again...this time with me and my beloved floating freely forward with little puffy hearts as the fuel (popping up all around us—yes my vision looks very animated! Lol) …It really is all about love in this life.  J  I know where my magic carpet ride is taking me…where is yours taking you?   

Sleepless in CT

It is the wee hours in the morning of May 15, 2012.  It is so hard to believe that it is May.  Just the other day, I heard someone on the radio say it is May and the weather will be.   I thought to myself no it is not it is February.   I mean it feels like we have only just started this new year; but the amount of stuff we have accomplished since the new year is tremendous.  To think if it only feels like February time wise, that means all that we have accomplished since January first till now is equivalent to fitting it into a time span of only a few weeks if I feel it is February.  Not sure if that makes sense, but imagine it this way---each week is equivalent of one month of life lived on earth (one month of stuff crammed into one week). 

I am sleepless this morning.  I have been up for the last few hours not able to sleep, at first I thought it was because it was too warm, but I realize I have so much going on inside of me. I am leaving for my trip back to Michigan tomorrow and I am resisting it so much. Apparently, this is not a normal trip for me.  The only time I feel the resistance I am feeling is when the trip's hold something lifechanging in store---by the way, the lifechanging is usually something good and positive; yet like I have said many times--I tend to resist that which is good for me as many of us do.  I started to pack yesterday and boy I tore my home apart--cleaning so much more than just my closet--I started the kitchen and tomorrow (today) I will tackle the living room before I leave for work as I will be working all day today.  I guess it is a clearing and perhaps a preparation of sorts--clearing out space. 

Meanwhile, I am really going through lots of emotions and healing at this moment especially with regard to my twinflame. I feel some of my resistance is because I fear I am leaving my twin behind; in many ways: spiritually, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Yet, I also know on some level that he is never really behind me --he is always there right beside me. (As I write that I realize I really don't allow myself to feel the pain as much as I need to---because I have always had this gift of seeing both sides--sometimes I think it is a curse of being a Pisces--I always used to say that the symbol of Pisces: two fish in opposite directions was because we were so indecisive, but the truth is that we see both sides and it isn't always easy to choose which one is "right" in terms of what others think.  As I type this, I get such clarity that the "right" way is what brings us closer to the love of self.  (Take that as a lesson that the right way for anything and everything is the way in which brings us closer to self love...what a beautiful lesson!)  For me this morning, some tears need to come because I am missing him (my twinflame) so much.  He called and hung up on me last night 4 times.  I don't understand it, why doesn't he speak when I answer?  I want to shout out to him that I love him and accept him just as he is, but I have done all that and wonder sometimes if it is futile because he has to believe it himself for himself.   I am so close to calling his phone to listen to his voicemail just so I can hear his voice, but instead I am blogging all of this to you so that I don't succumb to doing that.  I need his voice, I need his arms around me and I need to hear him tell me he loves me.  I feel really needy right now...I need his love...I need your love my beloved man.

Now I swear I am such an interesting dichotomy because while I feel all of the above, I also know that the smoother road is here and the journey to him is getting shorter and no longer is an uphill path.  I see him in my sight.  I remember visualizing his path to me (during meditation) and he was so far off in the distance I could barely make it out.  Now at this moment I see the path and honestly, he is there only steps away...what a beautiful image to end this blog on...he really is only steps away (the image I get is like in a movie when someone is standing looking at their love who is standing a small distance apart like across a street, but instead it is a path with light behind my beloved twinflame). 

FYI--posting this blog at 5:55 a.m.  It is no surprise to me...been seeing that number everywhere....that is our number even if isn't. It is the number that I see when things are about to change....well I'm ready, what are ya'll waiting for?  Bring it on...bring my twinflame to my doorstep...I'm ready and waiting.

 

Resistance is the Word for the day

Wow,

This has been such a marvelous journey and I haven't even begun the adventure yet. What I do know and realize is that the adventure began the day I booked my flight to Cairo. It isn't what one would call fantastic and amazing.

I haven't had time to really think about my trip or plan it. I used to be such a planner...I remember if I was going on a trip to Florida...I would know well in advance and have everything laid out on the sofa to pack and now I think about my trip to Florida earlier this year...booked the flight the day before and packed that morning. What does that mean? Does it mean that I just no longer need to plan? Spontaneity has gotten the best of me? Or does it mean I am trusting my spirit to take me where I need to go next.

I feel the answer is more complex than that. I feel like I am trusting spirit to bring me to where I need to go next, I mean I wouldn't even be doing this journey if I didn't trust my spirit. But I feel/fear there is more at play than just trusting my spirit--ambivalent feelings that popped up recently has more to do with Resistance than anything else.

I can name immediately several times that I felt this resistance/ambivalence... I often resist that which is good for me...which is something we all do. The one thing I can say is that often I look back on these times as tremendous opportunities for growth and experience things that catapult me forward further into the light. Well...9 days to go and the journey is about to begin...