Relationships are the single most important ingredient in a person’s life experience. It is impossible to live a life on this planet and not establish relationships with people or animals. A love relationship is the most prominent relationship in our mind whether we are single, married, gay or straight. The love relationship stirs up emotions, lessons and whirlwinds.
I asked my angels why are so many of our lessons tied to relationships and their answer is that every lesson we learn is tied to relationships. Our soul experience enlists other souls on this journey we call life to help us. My favorite book is The Little Soul and the Sun; it is a children’s parable adapted from the book, The Conversations with God written by Neale Donald Walsch. It is probably the most powerful children’s book I ever read and quite honestly I think every adult should read it as if it were a manual for their soul. It should be considered one of many training materials for the newly awakened souls on our planet. It provides probably the most beautiful definition as to why our relationships may be what they are for us.
Do you ever experience the same relationships over and over: Same person, same relationship, different face, and different name? That is because the lesson has not yet been learned. We have made pacts with many souls to help us learn on our life path. We have recruited people to come into our life and those pacts can’t be undone until we learn what we asked to learn.
I remember when I was younger I dated the same guy for several years. I say the same guy, but it was really a different person, different name, but the results were all the same. I hadn’t learned the greatest lesson of all which was to love me above all else.
The greatest lesson of all for each of us is that of self love and acceptance. It really isn’t about who loves us and if we are loved by another; it is about us being loved by us. Each relationship we bring into our lives is meant to show us who we are and to bring out our ability to fall in love with ourselves first.
It is also why relationships do not last forever and are not meant to last forever. We are meant to come together with one another for the time needed to learn what wisdom each of us has to impart to one another this time around. I know fairy tales depict a life where we are supposed to be with that one person forever; but the truth is that we are evolving human beings. What once worked for us may no longer work as we continue to evolve and grow on our journey. When we enter a relationship with another we make an unspoken agreement with one another about the dynamics of the relationship. That is to say that we each come into the relationship with our own baggage and at a place in the relationship that works for us. However, as we all know nothing stays the same and while each of us has a path that we are following we are changing. As we change, the dynamics of our relationship change and that is when it is time to look at the original agreement. Often times it no longer fits for both people. We become very attached to that which we know and are comfortable with; this is often why we develop fear about moving forward and resort to staying in a relationship that is not good for us or one that we know we have outgrown. The length of time of a relationship always varies on the individuals involved based on their own spiritual growth; sometimes we learn lessons a lot quicker than our partner and sometimes we learn our lessons together. This is when decisions need to be made about the relationship. A question we often fail to ask and answer sincerely is: are we both willing to work as much as needed for each of us to grow in this relationship? Sometimes we don’t ask because we don’t want to know the answer: either we are not willing or our partner is not willing to fully work on themselves in order for this relationship to continue in a healthy way. It takes both people to make it work. And other times, the answer is so clear that what once brought you together is no longer there. Regardless of what the answer is we need to ask ourselves in a very general way what do we want in a relationship and then face your relationship and see if it is what you really desire.
Many times people find themselves in a relationship that they realize is or has been over, yet they have stayed because of the financial stability aspect, they have children together or what others may think of them. The truth is that people stay only because of how they feel about themselves; the other things look acceptable and provide reasonable excuses for them not living their full potential. That is not to say that everyone should bail on a relationship that is hard---a relationship that presents difficulty allows for growth, but a relationship that has long been outlived represents someone stuck. This is when self-honesty and self love must come into play.
Often at the end of a relationship we fail to remember that it simply is okay to move forward and let go. Letting go is scary and I am not trying to minimize it as I have experienced my share of fear at the letting go of relationships, but I can promise you that it will be okay. It is always going to be okay. And most of all, we can never go back to where we were before this relationship because we are evolving beings who learn from each experience, and it puts us at the very least one step ahead of where we were before. With time and much healing, we often find our way clear to the next relationship. No matter what, relationships are our road map on our soul’s journey; each experience points us in our next direction.
I have to admit that sometimes I do need to be reminded every so often while I am in the midst of a relationship that it is something I am drawing to me based on what lessons I chose to learn in this life.
Sometimes it seems easier than others. I also tend to go back to a poem I wrote four years ago; it tends to really put my thoughts into perspective at the end of a relationship. I hope it helps you as well. Please see below:
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much love means…
Yes, it is easy to think I am talking about love from you, but
in that moment, I realized it is all about love for me. If I
showed myself half the love I gave to you, I would have had a
love with you that would have lasted a lifetime. But in failing
to love me fully I failed to let you see your power within.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much you gave to me…
You leaving sparked in me what I already knew—but failed to
recognize while I was with you…I already had the peace and love
I wanted—I had found it within me. I didn’t need you to complete
me—I was already complete when I found you—but I failed to see
that as enough even more so I sought for you to give it to me.
It wasn’t until that moment you walked away that I realized how
much I found…
Giving up myself to you, I didn’t love me the way I needed to
love me. I reconnected who I was within and took back the power
I freely gave away. I found that with or without you I am whole,
complete and loved.
