Tidings of the Season

It is the holiday season and I know plenty of people struggling and it appears that it is getting worse especially when you live in poverty everyday.  The fears grow and get unbearable at times.  If we stay quiet and away from all that pain and suffering, we think it doesn't have any impact on our life.  The proverbial if I don't look or get too close to it--I'll be safe.  Here is the thing--we are all so interconnected and if you don't think pain and suffering affects you personally--think again.  Every feeling you experience is not just your own--it is amplified by the many who are feeling that same feeling at the moment. 

Here is a little snippet from what I wrote on Facebook today:

Hello Everyone,

Today I am frustrated! Since my car accident, I have struggled to get proper care, struggled to get food on my table (my diet has eliminated several foods that I am allergic too-- I need to avoid them) and struggled to get rent paid, not mentioning the many other things I struggle with--not one day goes by throughout the last (nearly 3) years that I am in the just barely survive list--I say barely survive because my needs are truly not met. I feel blessed and grateful for the friends that surround me who have silently supported me on this journey which is why I am still in my apartment. I bring this all up because yet another creditor has called/mailed to tell me they are suing me--and I tell them my circumstances and they say I need to make a monthly payment plan--what they fail to realize is--I do make a monthly payment plan except it involves paying my rent, buying food, paper goods and feminine products. I'm so proud to say that physically I am doing much better thanks to my physical therapist and a new doctor who has heard me and helped me the last several months, but I am still only working part time because of several health issues that are as result of my car accident and improper care...what does that mean you ask? It means I am only able to take a couple clients a week (that is 2 for those of you wondering) and a class here or there. That happens only when I feel well enough to not cancel. I do not have the means to work more at this juncture--yet I hope soon I will be able to. This brings me to what I am going to do about this--I could cry, scream, become depressed--I've done that and it doesn't do any good. Instead, I am going to ask you all to help by donating items to the Homeless Shelter I have been collecting for since before Thanksgiving--there is a bin downstairs at the entry of my office. I also ask you to support your local food pantry or mine. I ask that you think before you donate--don't just do the canned goods, whole wheat products---realize there are people like me having to utilize such places that can't have the status quo. We need to help heal the population--not make them sicker because they have the misfortune of having no money. Please know that while I am frustrated today--it helps me to know that I am not choosing to be stuck and depressed--I am choosing love to be the answer. I am hoping this will inspire you all who can afford to help, to help the homeless and the food banks. It can be very scary out there--I know I've lived it. I put that in the past tense because I want to manifest a happy, healthy, abundant future. 

Thank you for listening. Peace and love to you all!

This was out of frustration--I got angry, sad and then I just thought about how we are all struggling on some level. It isn't necessarily obvious--I mean I don't think people look at me and think--she is financially struggling--I try not to focus on it and I try not to go there because I know better--it will keep me stuck.  I just wish that everyone would understand we are all one and not think that we are different from another--we only want be loved and feel safe. ALL that comes at us from different directions that makes us feel unsafe and unloved is why we react in fear.  If we can all come from this standpoint, the world will be a better place and maybe the energies that are dark will learn a thing or two about what it feels like to be safe and loved.   Think about this over the holiday season and do give from your heart in anyway that you can. I find those that have the least tend to give the most. Let's make it the other way around.  Find a homeless shelter to donate to, domestic violence shelter to donate to and/or a food bank near you.  Those little things you give can make a world of difference in someone's life.  Blessings of love to you all...

Happy Hanukkah!

I was blessed to be invited to celebrate Hanukkah with some wonderful souls and delicious latkes--oy they were good!  

As you may or may not  know, I don't consider myself any one specific religion--I truly believe first and foremost I AM part of everything. I AM part of all that is and I AM  all of it:  we are all one and connected to all that is--so to me there is no separation.   However, I was raised Catholic; but since "reopening/awakening" several years ago, my soul has called me back to ancient roots of Judaism.  I began to study Judaism and boy did the floodgates open as I began to recall many past lives when I was Jewish.  My SOUL remembered who I really was and where my soulroots lie.   I remember the first time I went to a Synagogue, after I "RE-Membered"  I started saying the Hebrew Prayers (sounded very much natural as the people around me commented on it) like I knew the prayers.  I even felt "my wings" open up wide. It was the first time, I felt my "wings"...I felt larger than life.  I felt alive with the ancient language of Hebrew--that's when  I knew I found the language of my soul. 

So I celebrate everything that is part of me which is LIGHT, LOVE and PEACE.  This time of year, I do, celebrate both Hanukkah and Christmas as they both resonate deeply within me,  and, I don't feel complete if I celebrate one without the other.  Tonight will be the second night of Hanukkah...here is a picture from my Menorah last year on the second night of Hanukkah.  The flames are uniting and make me feel the union of the twinflames is imminent. What a beautiful reminder of the miracles in my life.
 

During this Festival of Lights (Hanukkah), I light my menorah each of the eight nights of the holiday in honor of lighting the way of peace, remembrance of union, miracles, faith, trust and love.  The miracle of Hanukkah was that of light lasting beyond when the darkness "should" have taken over.  Let this holiday be a reminder for those who are Jewish and those who are not that just as the light was the miracle then---so too is light the miracle NOW.  Shine your light, my beautiful souls on this journey,for that is who you are.  As you shine your light, let the way of peace, remembrance of union, miracles, faith, trust and love be your truth so that you too will see the miracles coming your way. There is no requirement to light a candle or to be a certain religion/person/thing for you (each of you)  are the light and the way. 
 
Happy Hanukkah, my friends.

My wish for you is to shine your light.

In love, peace and light,
EstaRa

Hanukkah began last  night...

Inspirational Snippet: Holiday Healing

Inspirational Snippet: Holiday Healing


Turkey, Stuffing and Cranberry Sauce....Ahhh...The taste of Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!
I have to say that this is my favorite holiday. I love the food, of course, as many do, but it is more about the meaning of the holiday; or what I should say the meaning has become for me. It has become an opportunity for me to look at my life and really notice the many things that I am grateful for. It is a great reminder to not take anything for granted. It is also a time that we can share the abundance in our life with our friends and family.

Several years back, I chose to create a Vegan Thanksgiving to celebrate with my family of Light--my friends that are composed of clients, students and friends.  It is always around 11-11 that I do and it is really healing for my soul, my body and my mind.  This is a day when everyone who comes together has actively made a choice to be with one another eating a more healthy array of foods that if I might add are incredibly delicious (I know some of you think that is crazy, but believe you me--the food is beyond delish!)  I love it and it fulfills me!   And I have to say, this was the best year yet for food--and here is a little secret--most people in attendance are not Vegan, but for one day a year they can come together and get creative out of love for one another--to me that is what the holiday is about--sharing, caring, gratitude and loving.

Still the real holidays are approaching, and I usually spend the holidays at my parents with my brothers and their children.  There is nothing like my mom's idea of Thanksgiving. You grow up with certain family traditions and that is what you are looking for around the holidays...I don't know about everyone, but that is how I feel. I love my family traditions of food at Thanksgiving--it really feels great to be Italian, Polish and Ukrainian--those cultures for me have such yummy foods; how can one resist?
Several years ago, I made the decision to not go to my family's for Thanksgiving. It was a difficult decision for me at best. I decided to use my voice and take a stand for what I believe to be important. My stand was to not attend my family holiday gathering because of the lack of respect I felt directed towards me from my brothers. I really love my family, but I didn't always feel good when I went there for the holidays. My brothers were angry and they took it out on me. They do not like what I do for a living. They would make fun of me and talk badly about what I do which made it very uncomfortable for all the people in attendance including my little nieces. While I don't accept their thoughts as mine, the behavior was very disrespectful and can be quite harmful to my energy. It seemed the more content I had gotten with my life over the last few years, my brothers seemed to have gotten angrier. Is that the case? Or is it that I am or have gotten to a more balanced experience with my feelings that I can't relate or allow as much as I may have allowed in the past?

In case you are wondering, yes, I do understand their stuff is not about me; however, the negative energy does impact me and I have a choice to experience it or not. I even understand the lessons associated with this and the deeper spiritual healing piece, but what I am writing about today is the human experience and my choice of not taking part in something I deem to be unhealthy for me physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I don't think family gatherings should be disrespectful and not to mention they just shouldn't make you feel so bad. The energy can be harmful to not only the person made to feel uncomfortable, but everyone there.

I know holidays can be dysfunctional and families can be crazy--I mean they make many movies about it and perhaps they will make one about mine someday too!  But honestly, all joking aside, the experience can be toxic to our intuitive natures. It is not pleasant to "feel" under attack at a place that is supposed to be safe. It was hard to make this decision not to go to my parents that year, but I think because I did that, it helped me heal with them.  My family's interaction with me began to change after that and while we are not all on the same page--perhaps not even in the same book, it is tolerable, safe and a much warmer climate at the family gatherings.

Over the years, I have done a lot of things that I didn't want to do out of guilt and obligation so as to keep everyone in the family happy. Does this sound familiar?  It really is a common thing that a lot of us tend to do; make decisions that would cause the least amount of problems for the family even if it isn't in your best interest. The truth is that we often worry about everyone else and forget about our own needs and how we may be affected by those choices.  Each time we make a choice in favor of someone else over our needs, we give away our power.  Feeling powerless leads to so many things, like low self-esteem, depression, guilt, shame to name a few.

I decided a long time ago that the only person who could make me happy is me so I made the choice to make me happy that Thanksgiving. I want to feel loved, safe and at peace. I explained to my parents as best as I could; that it was not because I didn't love them, but I was not attending because I felt like my brothers should treat me with respect. I truly do not believe that it is too much to ask. I mean I don't agree with stuff that my brothers do, but I just accept that is what they chose and go on.

This message is for all of you to absorb/feel/comprehend/experience for yourself and to evaluate how you feel about holidays.  We shouldn't have to prepare to go a holiday gathering (or to our family's home for that matter), we shouldn't have to feel afraid of what may happen, anxious about the expectations; and ultimately we shouldn't have to do anything that jeopardizes our safety/happiness/inner light.
Wishing you all a Happy Thanksgiving this week.

Love to you,
EstaRa