Less Drama

So here it is a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Connecticut, by far the best day of the weekend, but to me the best in a week. I can’t believe it! I sit here in the house writing this to you all instead of enjoying the beauty of the day. I wish I could say as I sit here I am doing this because I chose to sit in all day to write, but I didn’t. In fact, there has been no choice to stay home today. Instead, my car broke down keeping me home today. Literally–broke down—yes a 2007 Honda Civic went kaput. How is that possible you ask? I asked the exact same question. And I noticed my reaction is one of humor I laugh because what are the chances, I mean seriously, what are the chances of a Honda not working? I mean I chose this car simply due to the fact that it doesn’t do that—well that is what everyone told me and still tells me even today when so clearly, my car did break down! Oh well, I changed my plans and I am sitting here writing a note.

The other day I came across the following quote by Myrlie Evers , “I have reached a point in my life where I understand the pain and the challenges; and my attitude is one of standing up with open arms to meet them all!”

Isn’t that an amazing attitude to have? What a beautiful life it would be if we all could do that. I have to honestly say that I discovered that I there is much truth and peace in that statement. A few years ago, I easily found that choosing to live life that way made me more present in my day and life was a lot less complicated. It was absolutely incredible.

However, what I found was that some things happened in my life that caused me to become out of balance in my life and my energy. Being human and having so many human experiences happen all at once, it made me overwhelmed which in essence made me want to deal with life’s challenges less and less. As a result, I lost my way a little bit and was reminded to put me first. So often, I forget and jump off the path of healing and so often I am blessed to have my angels, my guides and my life experiences remind me. And, if I am paying enough attention to them I will quickly get back together and if I am not it may take a little longer.

The quote above reminded me to look at my life again. A few things came to my attention this past week ending with the car stuff. I choose to greet the challenges as they come rather than running to avoid them. What I notice though is that I meet a lot of people who choose to run from life and life’s challenges by way of distractions or literally, by way of creating more drama in their life to distract people from what the original situation is. I choose to be happy in this moment by embracing life’s challenges and pain. I choose to take things one day at a time rather than jumping forward or getting angry from the get go. View the world differently and make less drama in my life. What about you?

Simple Sources of Love

I have been spending the last couple of days looking for examples of love. I have been seeing it everywhere I go. Here are just a few examples of what I noted:

I saw it when I went to visit my family. My father and I were talking and he has been making copies of my vhs videos (yes I still have those) and converting them onto DVD's. It is his way of showing me love. I am so grateful. He takes so much care and effort to make them perfect. It is so loving and warm. Or when my mom buys me a blouse (ok so it is not the color I would ever pick out, but it always turns out looking good). I am so grateful for those little signs of love.


I saw it yesterday when I was taking a drive to my Chiropractor's office. I driving down a beautiful back road to get there. You know with the fall colors you would think that would be enough for me to say ahhh how beautiful. Well, I was thinking of my twin flame (that is for another entry at another point on my journey, but I did spit the word out so you all now know I have one), and as I thought of my twin I looked up and on this beautiful tree lined street I saw to trees across from one another reaching over the street to connect. It was like I saw love reaching out and grabbing ahold of more love...it created this incredible arch over the road....ahhh the beauty of love in nature I thought.

Then last evening I experienced love with family and friends. I was a hospital for a friend who has a friend that is going through some medical stuff and the support was beautiful. Even when we may not be able to communicate with words in love, it is evidenced in how we treat one another or how we interact. It was really beautiful---it helped me sleep soundly once again and wake up in a glory filled mood.

Find your sources of love...look around I have a sneaking suspicion you will find some too...

You Are So Beautiful!

The other night I walked by the mirror and caught a view of myself in it. I did a double take and I said, “wow, you are so beautiful.” That was an amazing revelation to me. The interesting thing is that I have for the last several years of my life always said I loved me and I have, but I had never said I was beautiful, but damn it I truly am.

I have always wanted to be the teacher who could and would teach people to fall in love with themselves, and yes I have been doing that; but what could be more amazing than me teaching it while knowing that I am falling in love with me all over again. It was such a wonderful feeling the other night. It was incredible really, I am a little high on all this…who needs to drink or do drugs when you can be so high on simply loving you?

I met someone and I shall call him “L” for now. When I met “L”, he forced me to look at me and come to the realization that I am beautiful. You wonder how that is possible? Honestly, I will tell you, if I was reading this I would be saying to me how is that possible that a man you love and are not with can make you see yourself as beautiful?

Well, I would have to say, “L” was the first man that I loved who looked at me when he met me and said with complete and utter sincerity, “You are so beautiful. You look like an angel”. That was four years ago. I knew that night he saw my spirit and I was very comfortable in knowing that my spirit was beautiful. When you are psychic you don’t see people the same any longer, you begin to see them as the love that they are, the potential of their growth and the true essence that is their soul so I could easily accept that he saw my spirit and thought it was beautiful. What I didn’t always allow me to know is that he saw me---April, physical, in person April with her spirit shining through her physical being. “L” is not and does not proclaim to be a spiritual person; if anything he is the opposite of me so all he could see was the physical April in front of him. I never doubted what he saw in me because he was so clearly speaking his truth in that moment, but I think perhaps I doubted my own beauty. I guess I never considered myself to be beautiful before. Yes, I loved my eyes and thought I had beautiful eyes, but my whole physical being, is it beautiful, was more of the question?

Still riding the high waves from the other night’s revelation, I decided to look a little more at me and what it is that I am working on...

Fortunately and unfortunately as you will learn, I am always working on me even when I want to run and hide which in the last few months has been quite often I can honestly say. The funny thing is that is what I love so most about me; I don’t end up giving up, rather I keep forging ahead to heal me.

I have discovered on this part of the journey I am working on feeling “good enough”. I learned a long time ago from my angels and guides that I often get the clearest messages by way of the relationships I have in my life; particularly with men. I think because the men in my life have been so unsure of themselves; I have used that to keep giving me reason to feel like I am not worthy or good enough. When, in fact, I know that their uncertainty and insecurity is not about me. When you think about it, it is like my own sick rationale for feeling unlovable or unbeautiful? (is that even a word?) Does that make sense?

The other day, I just got through saying to a friend that I wish I knew why people were in my life at the time they are there, but it appears that I end up learning the reason after the fact. I believe that I am there for people as much as I believe they are there for me. This time around I thank “L” for his love and his recognition of my beauty—it may have taken me four years to recognize what he did, but without him…I may not have.