I Still Glow

Good Morning World,

It is day four of my adventure into keeping the faith and this week it has been really difficult so now I know why my guides want me to blog about my faith that my twinflame. It has not been easy and everything is pointing to Valentine's Day and wondering if I will hear from him by then or not. Though, I did tell him do not call me that if he wanted to talk to me then he would have to come see me. Okay so emotional on that one to say the least. It was for my highest good and ultimately for his too. What does that all mean? I don't know if I will hear from him. I don't know what will happen. I can tell you what I do know. I know I will see him and I know that we will be together---the how's, the why's, the when's, the what's I am not supposed to be asking about as told by my guides. They said those questions leave doubts so when I talk about my twinflame--try to help me by not asking those questions. :) Anyway, there is much more to talk about as yesterday was a little enlightening for me.

I discovered two things yesterday. The first is about my birthday. My birthday is March 1 in case you all didn't know and this year I will be 40. Wow--I know a lot of women don't like giving out their age, but me on the other hand I have no problem--I love me just as I am. I was writing an email to a friend yesterday and discovered something about me and my twinflame. The hardest time of year for me during this time of knowing him is not Christmas, not New Years, but my birthday. My birthday is so important to me; and I want him there with me in some way, shape or form. (and ethereally doesn't count as I know he will be there that way and has been there that way for many years.) As I was writing to my friend, I, for the first time, realized that it was because my birthday symbolizes me coming back into this life to be with him. I realized I came back in this life (because I had already ascended) only to reunite with him and bring him home. What a revelation to me. It helped me to understand my sadness around this time of year.

My journey with this man has been nearly seven years as I may have mentioned and there is only one time that he acknowledged my birthday in some way. He called me on the day and sang Happy Birthday to me in a voicemail (that was huge--he normally never leaves voicemails--if he ever does then I would know things have really shifted within him because I can't imagine that he doesn't leave anyone a voicemail). Anyway, I digress, but what a big reveal for me.

The next revelation came when I was having lunch with a friend yesterday. We were out to lunch and she asked how is the "man"? The interesting thing and I do have to digress for a moment is that people are so kind, but they do not understand the whole twinflame thing and how it is definitely not a normal relationship by society's standards--it is far beyond that in many ways: good, bad, indifferent. I really believe that sometimes my friends appease me by listening and just think I am plain crazy to love this man, but it is what it is; and truthfully, I would probably think the same if I didn't know better and wait yes, I have thought the same thing about me many, many times.

Anyway back to my revelation. I was talking a very short bit about him and she said to me you, you look radiant and then as I talked about him, she told me I was glowing. It struck me because I had forgotten; I had forgotten that I glow. (unfortunately, it has been heavy and emotional for me with regard to my twinflame for some time.), That is something I do. I glow! I come alive when I think about him, when I talk about him and when I am with him. (Just a side note, he does too!! Remember, I told you he was older than me? Well, when he is in my presence, he drops all those years and becomes a teenage boy! He is adorable!!)

It brought me back to when I first met him; well that is not entirely true. I met my twinflame online. Yes, on the computer. I was home sitting at my computer and drafting up my first brochure for my business. I was such a procrastinator then so I popped online. (Back when online was safe and people where mostly truthful like giving real names.) I went into an AOL chat room. (Back when AOL chatrooms were somewhat normal--I wouldn't know now, but I know shortly after that time things were really not so good.) That is how I met him. (I'll explain more someday.) So to quickly get to my point, we talked almost daily online. We hadn't talked on the phone yet and then one night I was getting ready to go to a Pampered Chef Party at a friend's house. I was home waiting for my other friend to come by and pick me up. He called me. (We couldn't wait to hear each other's voice.) I remember it like it was yesterday. He sounded so cute. (that is what I thought that day.) I loved his voice. The point is that I was talking to him on the phone when my doorbell rang. I answered the door and let my friend walk in. I told him that I had to go (it was brief ten minute conversation) and when I hung up, I exclaimed, "I love his voice and I adore this man; there is something about him." My friend looked at me and said "You are glowing." She said, "I have never seen you look this way. Not even about your ex-boyfriend. You are simply beautiful you are just glowing."

I think I have always glowed whenever I think about him, talked to him or seen him since that day. (Perhaps, I had glowed sooner, but no one was there to witness it.) The magic is that I still glow...