Day 14: End of January

It's the end of January and I am on my quest to keep the faith about me and my twin flame. It has been two full weeks and well to be honest, I know I haven't been doing too well. My guides want me to step it up a notch and be in the love!! Be in the Love.

So last night I was on the phone with one of my friends and I was sharing all these funny stories of me and my twin. I was thinking about just how much I love him. I mean I really wonder sometimes why? Not why I love him--he is completely and utterly loveable---it is quite magnificent really. (Not sure he would agree with that interpretation yet. I say yet because someday soon he will agree he is loveable, magnificent and deserves to be happy. By the way, his lack of agreeing that he is loveable, magnificent and deserving of happiness lends to why we are not together as of yet.) I wonder how I could love someone so much who isn't with, who hasn't shared his love with me, who hasn't shared his life with me; and yet, I love everything about him. How is that possible one would ask? I mean everything--even the quirky annoying things, even his bad behavior--I love him. Until I met him and until I had all these truly bizarre experiences over the last several years, I didn't know what unconditional love was. I thank you, my beloved twinflame, for teaching me unconditional love.

Did he teach me unconditional love by loving me unconditionally? NO that definitely was not how. He taught me by being who he is at every moment of every day--the good, the bad (sometimes really painful) and the indifferent behavior and parts of himself--I realized that no matter what I truly love this man. It was really a surprising revelation to me. That is pure and true unconditional love. So I went to bed last night with happy thoughts of his head...I love his head...he has a beautiful heart and his face is so full of light. (he doesn't even know and unfortunately, those around him probably haven't really noticed either.) But I do and did....I love his head. (so much so that I can't stop looking at him) :)

I woke up this morning with Raphael nearby along with a few other angels that joined me last night. I asked for a message for my day and they told me to go and pick a card and the card I picked out was New Romance (Angel Messages Deck by Doreen Virtue) and the card was "New romance is imminent - either with a newcomer, or through reignited passion in your existing relationship. Be open to giving and receiving love." I love it! I know it is about me and my twinflame...I feel it today. (By the way, they told me to pick a card because sometimes I negate what I hear simply because I worry it is what I want to hear!)

I am so glad that the month is ending, it is time to usher in new energy in February. I feel anticipation of what is to come. I feel excited today like all good things are happening.

I will leave you on this final note a message from my angels for my people on facebook...Today's Message from the angels is have faith and patience for what you are asking for is on its way to you. This time period is more a testament of believing in oneself versus having to wait for what you want. You are almost there, don't give up before it happens. (I know not always easy words to hear, but if we stay in patience and faith then the outcome is very near, but when we waver it gets further away...trust me I know! Trust me, that is why I am blogging each day about the love I feel for my twinflame. I love you my dear man. I love you. I have faith in you and believe in us.

Day 13: 1111 or 111 is All About Me and My Twinflame

Good Morning World,

My guides have been telling me to hibernate so the whole month of January that is just what I have been doing until yesterday. I spent the day doing readings at a holistic fair. (It is the first fair I have done in a year and quite honestly, I do believe it is my last!) I am such a multidimensional being that being contained in 3D was really hard for me yesterday---and it was more like overstimulation for me in a room with 50-100 people (it felt like a 1000 with all the energy bodies I saw walking around in addition to the human physical bodies).

Anyway, onto my twinflame quest to keep the faith. I like that..because some days it certainly feels like a quest and other days well it is so easy to feel faith in us. I did want to write yesterday, but as I mentioned above not feeling well so I came home and went to bed instead. So I wanted to write about something that I have noticed in the last three weeks really. Now, I know many of you see the phenomenon of 111 or 1111. I used to see it a lot many years ago and throughout the years I would see it too, but other numbers always seemed to stand out for me. Well in the last three weeks of this new year, I see it everyday, but not just once...I see it at 11:11 a.m. and p.m. and 1:11 a.m. and p.m. and then I have 11 mails, 111 mails, 11 phone calls. It is amazing. Not one day has gone by that I have not seen it. Now, globally 11 used to symbolize Awakening...it was like the universal number that says wake up, wake up. I totally understood that and that is why so many people have been seeing it throughout the years. It is the universal wake up call.

However, for me I was told a few months back right before 11:11 that 11 is the number of twinflames. It certainly is for me. The frequency with which I have been seeing it has increased within the last year. The message is that it is happening. Sometimes I wonder if I am seeing it for him too. I mean often I see things in his life through his eyes. He shows me what he is doing by sending images to me. Is he conscious of it? I don't know. Sometimes I think he hasn't a clue and other times, I know he must. He knows I can feel him and he knows I can sense things with him and well this past year he has been waking up ...really waking up for a change and the beautiful thing is that the Angels will not let him fall asleep...they keep poking and prodding him to move along and do what needs to be done, has he done it? I have not talked to him in just over two weeks now so I can't humanly answer it, but I can tell you from a spirit standpoint he is doing something and one of these days I will know because he will show up on my doorstep to prove it to me.

So for me I believe 1111 or 111 or 11 is all about me and my twinflame. It is a reminder to me to stay in faith for it is all happening now. For the first in the nearly 7 years that I have known him, I really do feel it is all happening now. I will let 11 remind me and I welcome that number to come my way for in those moments I know that I love him and that he loves me. I also know it means that it means stay in the faith for it will manifest now.

Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy too...so don't worry if you are thinking that....believe me I do understand. If I was reading all this, I would be thinking the same. As for me today at this moment (I say at this moment, because I can only speak for in this moment because it can fluctuate at any moment.) in this moment, I believe in him and our love....I believe he is nearing the ready. I feel like he is a race horse coming to the gate almost ready to bust out and run...no chasing rabbits...chasing his dreams perhaps...chasing his dreams to me.

Inspirational Snippet: The Path You Have Chosen

I have something to share with you from my reading. Yes, I am reading again. I have made a decision to honor my spirit by allowing myself some time to read a little. I was prompted to grab hold of book that was lying around in my house. The book is by Barbara Marciniak, Path of Empowerment. It is a Pleiadian channeled book; however, at the end of the passage my guides have stepped in added some too. Blessings for a new day!

The passage that I wish to share today is knowledge that I have shared quite often with my clients, students and even during readings that I have given, but the words here are much more potent…

”Every aspect of existence is interwoven and connected through a complex network of consciousness. Before you immerse yourself into 3-D living, you have the ability to preview the parameters of earthly life, to oversee the aspects of your own plan, purpose and intent within a specific climate of consciousness. You choose the moment and the time of your birth, as well as your genealogical bloodline, which is rich with an ancestral encoding of perceptions based on many lessons in living. In the here and now, you forget your plans in order to play your version of the game of life more effectively. You immerse yourself in your identity and become fully engaged in the process of exploring and experiencing the path you have chosen. The course of your life is a significant and purposeful journey that continuously confronts and stimulates you to develop your abilities. You actually learn about the nature of existence as you learn how to operate your biological form.”

What does this mean for all of you? It means you have chosen this path in your life. You are exactly where you are meant to be. You are the exact age, in the exact time, in the exact place and in the exact circumstances to assist to wake up to the power that you are. Remember your reasons. There is no more doubting and no more rethinking, second guessing or feeling sorry for yourself---it is the time now for you to be who you are truly meant to be. From above, “In the here and now, you forget your plans in order to play your version of the game of life more effectively.” It simply means, remember you chose the experiences that you have to feed your soul and make you a stronger human to assist humanity at this time to transition to a higher consciousness. It is now dear ones. It is now.

It is easy to say someone else can do it. It is easy to look at your long journey to this point and think I don’t want to or I am too tired; however, dear ones this is your job—the job you have come to earth to perform. Step into it now. Invite those around you in your life to see from your perspective—you can’t change all of them, but you can share your perspective and see if perhaps someone is there that wants to come along with you. Today, simply say out loud: I am (enter your name). I am love. I am light. I am peace. I am one with all that is. And watch how your day transforms. We are the Masters of Light.

Day 12: The Quest to Keep the Faith Continues

Morning has broken and the sun is rising beautiful here in Guilford, CT. I have been watching the sun rise for weeks from my beautiful picture window in my living room from my Chaise Lounge...love it. The sky is orange all a glow. I have been watching the sun rise for weeks and well this morning it is so speaking to me. Quite literally, this morning I see not only rays of light, but heart shaped rays of love coming my way. I would love to capture it on camera, I tried it doesn't work so you will have to imagine. It speaks to me of love and new beginnings. It speaks to me of hope for the new earth we are creating and it speaks to me about the love I feel from my twinflame.

I may not be physically with him, but I am most definitely with Etar (his highest self's name). I taught my energy group last night and I was surrounded by love from my family of light, but also by my star family. Etar was here with me and taught alongside me (energetically of course). When I went to bed last night, I felt his presence as I drifted off to sleep. I felt so safe and comforted. It gave me this beautiful morning to wake up to. I feel full faith today on the faith-o-meter. It is magical beyond magic. It is love beyond love today. It is faith, hope, trust and love wrapped all in this blanket of the sun's rays.

That is all for now...I must prepare for a children's class I am offering today....wish me luck...
Today, the sun is speaking to me. It is telling me that as it rises so too does new hope. Hope for the planet, hope for the evolution of love and hope for the twinflames to reunite. As I look

Day 11: Somewhere in Time

I wasn't able to write this yesterday because I was crying so much. When I woke up yesterday, I was a little under the weather and napped on and off all day. Of course, I don't know about you, but if you have a million and one things to do, you do them even if you are sick or you at least attempt to do them. So at one point yesterday, I grabbed a hold of my mail. Now in case you do not know, I often pick up my mail and put it in a pile on my desk (if you saw my desk you will know what I mean!).

I walked over to my and began to open it. Recently, I ordered a movie from Amazon, Illusion. So as I started to pour through my pile of mail, I found that movie, but I had found a second package that felt like a movie from Amazon.com too. I hadn't noticed it until now that there were two envelopes from Amazon. (I know that tells you how ungrounded I am when I get my mail! hahaha) I opened the Illusion movie and then I grabbed the other one...and the other movie was Somewhere in Time. I didn't order it. It just found its way to my house. I was obviously gifted it, but there wasn't a note or anything in there, simply the movie was there.

At the first look at the movie cover I started to cry. I have seen this movie before and I loved it when I saw it, but I cried like a baby when I saw it back in the late 80's before I met my twinflame (I was only a teen). I cried because I remember the beauty of this movie.

Then, I sat down as I cried and I looked at the cover and saw the following words: "He sacrificed his present for love in the past". OMG I cried. And cried. And cried. (Did I tell you that I cried?) I didn't know what to think....my first feeling was someone has been reading my blog and sent it to me because it is a Twinflame movie and they know it. Then I thought OMG they think I am sacrificing my life (the present) waiting...wasting my time waiting for my twin to wake up and what a tragedy. Then, I went to the emotions of maybe someone saw the movie and thought of me. They understood. They understand. EstaRa needs to know she is not alone and she needs to know others honor her and believe in her.

I don't know who sent it to me, but I am grateful. I am truly grateful for the gift, the love of someone who cares so deeply for me to let me know I am not alone, even if they do not want the acknowledgement, I am truly grateful for knowing that I am loved, appreciated and my writing about this journey of mine is not fruitless. Love and thank you, thank you.

The day went on and I felt a little better and put the thought beside. Then last night I was checking my email and friend of mine sent out a mail with the you tube theme song from the movie, Somewhere in Time. OMG I started to cry again and I realize there is a message in there somewhere. I talked to a friend this morning and she suggested that perhaps I need to watch the movie and maybe there is a message for me in it. I have to admit I am afraid to watch it. I told my friend that if I watch it I worry that I will cry and not come out of the tear storm that will come down my face.

This whole thing really undid me!! (by the way, I believe I am PMS'ing hence the undoing of me...it is always easier on hormones! NOT!) Today, I feel better and I feel clearer that I should watch this movie, but I am teaching class tonight, tomorrow and Sunday I am doing readings so it is not likely for me to watch until Monday. I will keep you posted on when I watch this and what the message may be....or if any of you have a thought as to why I was given the movie and sent an email with the theme music from the movie..I'd love to hear it...

for now...I hold the faith that it is soon. (If you have not seen this movie, you should totally see it especially if you are experiencing a twinflame thing of your own.)

Inspirational Snippet: When You Know You Are Done

Today's message came to me while I was lying in bed. It is about when you know you are done it is not out of anger or fear that you decide (though that may have been your motivation for discovering you are done), but it is out of love. You accept that the next step on your journey is to let go and move on. In doing so you are expressing not only love for yourself, but love for the other person too. I asked my guides for clarity and it evolved to another conversation with them so to speak:

When you decided to come to earth (every time you have chosen to experience a lifetime), you gathered together with the major souls who were going to be part of your journey (the main characters if you will) and agreed to assist one another on their path. The plan was set into motion and would evolve by the choices one makes on their journey (of course there is free will). It was agreed that there would be a reason to come together and there would come a time to part for the lessons have been learned. All parties agree. (EstaRa asked what about the children? How could their lessons have been learned?) The children have chosen the particular family based on the lessons that those people within that family have chosen to experience. The agreements were created to assist each soul on their process of ascension.

The earth has always been a school. A school where each soul gets the opportunity to learn what they wish. (It is almost like when you can select what classes you wish to experience in your educational system instead you are selecting what experiences you wish to have.) The experiences are the lessons. They have always been the experiences to bring you back to God---the process of Ascension. Sometimes the lessons come immediately by being born and raised in the family and sometimes those lessons are learned if and when the family is apart. There is so much value in your journey and on your path. Living life on earth has so much to offer.

Things have changed dear ones. The time has come for you to know that agreements have been upheld and the lessons are here for you to learn (Some of you have already learned what is necessary.). However, there was an expiration date for the agreements. Not something you can imagine, can you? The expiration date is this year, the year of 2012. Agreements started to become null and void after October 28, 2011. What does that mean for you? It simply means you are done with your agreements and you have carried out your plan marvelously, but now is the time to choose what you will do with that knowledge. You have followed the rules of the school so well and easily forgotten that you are the one in control and you are the one in power. You have remained powerless often due to the agreements you had made and to the belief systems you so willingly accepted. Now, it is time to take back your power. The only thing holding you back dear ones, is you.

The agreements expired. Again, what does that mean? It means you can freely move about the planet. (We hope you like that line, EstaRa loves that tag line from one of her favorite airline commercials.) It means you no longer are tied to situations, people, places or things like you were in the past. The only thing holding you in that stagnant place is you. You have a choice now to truly follow your heart. It is time to become aware of the gift you have within you. All roads are open, which path do you choose? One that you pave by way of seeing your power and magic or one that you follow because it appears to be the most accepted? The turmoil on your planet has more to do with your own inner turmoil than it does with anything outside of yourselves. If you find peace within you find peace without.

EstaRa once wrote an article that shared the following...."Everyone wants peace on earth, but how in a world that does not know peace within is that possible? The key to world peace is to for each individual to find peace within themself for only then can they know what world peace is." EstaRa's wake up mission was to turn on the lights. She was given her mission.."Promoting HOPE (Healing Our Planet Earth) one person at a time through turning on the lights. You are the lights dear ones. You are the lights. This is the final year of this mission for EstaRa because as she has ascended and evolved so too has her mission. She will have succeeded in turning on the lights of those she meets. She does it simply by being. Your job dear ones is, now that EstaRa has assisted you in turning them on, to keep them on. EstaRa offers many ways for you to keep them turned on by way of her writing, her classes and her BE-ing, but the ultimate responsibility now lies within you. We bid you a day of magic, a day of knowing and a day of discovering when you know you are done. For in that moment, in that awakened moment of knowing you have completed that agreement, all things become possible even humanly from a place of love.

It is with love, honor and respect that we bring you this message today. Namaste. The Masters of Light.

Be love,
EstaRa

Day 10: Marry Me

As you all may have noticed I did not blog yesterday. It was not intentional at first; I really did not have time to blog yesterday as I have had so much that had to be done. Then I got home last night at 9 p.m. or so and well the truth is that I didn't want to write about my twin because I was feeling sad and didn't want to put that energy out there.

It gets hard for me to make it through some days and well Tuesday, I just put the message out to my guides and angels to bring me some message today. Now, I don't know about you, but for the most part I can shut out background music when I am shopping because quite honestly lately when I go to the store now I am usually on a mission. (The energy is too much for me to linger too long!) So I went into one store and heard..."If I get the courage to (didn't hear anything else)....Marry Me." Then I walked into another store and the same song was playing, but I caught the same lyrics. Wow....the first time, I thought coincidence, but it really is never a coincidence (though I am still human at times and tend to doubt hence the homework from my guides to keep the faith).

Then, much later in the evening I was driving home and turned the radio on and guess what was playing? Yep, the same lyrics and this time I listened to more of the song. It is the song Marry Me by Train....

I was going to write about that above stuff yesterday morning, but never got to. So instead, I went to bed and my wish was to have sweet dreams of me and him. I used to have dreams where he and I would meet and discuss things going on in his life. I haven't had one of those in awhile and I miss them...anyone listening out there? hahaha

This morning I woke up at 6:30 and lingered in bed until about 8:30. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to experience another day without him. So I didn't get up right away instead I laid there breathing and doing some energy work on my body. I could feel him. I could feel my twinflame and could him next to me in my bed (no he is not physically here with me), but I could feel him and I just laid in bed and talked to his spirit. He told me he loved me. He told me he thinks of me all the time. He told me that he misses me. (I swear if you were there in my room you would think wow she really does talk to herself.) He said he doesn't know. He said he couldn't figure it out. I cried a little, but I felt him and I felt closer to him today in a different way.

My beloved, you do know, you can figure it out, you are strong, you are courageous. I have faith in you! Thank you all for being my witness to this extraordinary experience that I am having.

Inspirational Snippet: Within You

This morning's snippet has evolved into becoming a conversation with me and my guides. Open your hearts dear ones they say as you read this, for everything you need to know is here and highlighted for you.

When I woke up this morning I felt a great deal of frustration and realized it was not mine alone. Some was my twinflames as he is getting "hammered" by the energy to make a change in his life and the truth is that he knows he needs to, but he fears what others will think because some of the changes that need to happen are drastic and dramatic. He is also afraid of taking that step in fear that the sidewalk ends. These are some of the same fears that others are experiencing with the "hammering" energy prevalent on the planet. The hammer is being dropped on what it is that no longer serves you. Things will get more difficult at first gradually and then more intense. Everyone is experiencing it on some level. Those of us that have been working hard at clearing away what no longer serves us; and I do mean working because, boy it has been a challenge at times for the last several years, we are getting a bit of a breather if you will. Thank goodness. Now when I say breather by no means am I getting a breather from other people's stuff. Hence why I woke with this feeling of overwhelm by everyone choosing to dump their stuff whether it is directly on me or others; whether that is their intention or not it happens. Those of us that are sensitives are experiencing it more.

My guides prompted me this morning to sit with the energy and understand it a little better. They told me that I already knew what I needed to do. I sat with it and heard the answers from within me. I heard what I needed to take care of for me. In those answers what I needed to take care of me would be ultimately helping better take care of others themselves. I bring this up today because it is the truth. We do know what to do. We have all the answers inside of us....quite often we choose not to see them. I used to believe that it wasn't simply not always on someone's radar, but now I know differently. Everything is out there for revealing--everything. And in this energetic time of change and transformation, EVERYTHING IS RIGHT INSIDE for us to see. Perhaps we have sought answers from other people, perhaps we have sought prayers from other people, but the truth remains the one person that needs your prayers and your thoughts is you!!! Yes, perhaps, we have been getting subtle external messages about what needs to be done, but now the universe is bringing them to the forefront of our minds as things that need to change---this is only happening (the hammering I speak of ) as a reflection of what is transpiring inside of us; so ultimately, you are bringing it on. Do not blame others, do not fault others, you are the one in this because you are still choosing this. No choice, you say? No decision you make is a choice. What do you do? You wonder. You can continue to ask others for help or ask their advice but the truth remains you must do the work. You already have the answers within you as to what to do next. My guides ask you to answer the following: What are you waiting for? Is it fear? Is there a way to avoid the truth inside of you? Is getting the same answers from everyone really benefitting you if you do not do something with that information? What is your reason for keeping things the same? What is your reason for not choosing love? You have no excuses anymore....love is the only reason to choose anything in this world. Love is.

Be at peace,
EstaRa

Day 8: Our Meeting

So I woke up this morning with the only thought and vision in my mind was of the night I met my twinflame. The night we physically met in person because as you know I met him online. I met him one year and four months after I was talking to him nearly every day several times a day. Hours at a time. Sometimes we would "come home" to each other after a long day. We would start talking on the phone 7:30/8:00 p.m. at night and talk until the wee hours of the morning. It was like having met my other half (okay, so I did! I just didn't really acknowledge that at first because really how weird was it from a human perspective to have feelings for someone you met online and let alone never met or saw a picture of? Yes, I can be a normal human too---even if I am and have always been blessed with a higher perspective.) I remember when he first developed feelings for me and admitted them...it was six months after talking daily. I was still holding back because I was afraid to really let him in because I had recently been hurt in a relationship.

Anyway, I digress I don't want to talk about year before meeting I just wanted to share what was in my heart this morning when I woke up. We had never exchanged pictures. My reasons for not sending pictures were because he wouldn't send one to me. I also was afraid he wouldn't like me. We had never talked about superficial stuff like what do you like about someone and what do you want in someone; ya know, the stuff that most people focus on instead our conversations were incredibly about everything in life...his work, my work, our experiences...like I said he was my other half and someone that I couldn't imagine my life without to be honest. By the way, I am a psychic ya know and I could see things. I was so connected to this man that I could see him even before I met him. I knew what he looked like....he was gorgeous in my mind. I would even tease him and tell him what I thought he was wearing...like a blue suit and blue shirt. He once asked are you here in my office with me? I just was so connected to him that I could astrally travel to see him.

Anyway, this morning I had this vision and reminder, if you will, of the night that I met my twinflame in person. I saw the casino. I have not been back to the casino since we met that night. I saw the vision as I walked into the casino on the phone with one of my friends telling her how nervous I was. Walking down the hall of the casino on the way to the Native American statue in the center court, I saw him before he saw me. I saw him walk over to the phone. I said to my friend if the phone rings in the next 30 seconds it is him. It rang and it was him. I saw that this morning...it reminds me of his courage and strength to meet me. I was so proud of him because I knew how nervous he was. Just as much as I was, but with all his phone calls on his way to the casino suggesting he turn around and go back; I was less nervous than him.

As I type this, I am hearing my guides say hold onto the faith...the faith in him. The faith in his ability to step into the powerful, courageous being of light that he is...I love you, my twinflame....not hat he is reading this in human form, but on a spiritual level he hears my heart as I hear his.

Day Seven on My Quest to Keep the Faith

Good Morning, Everyone.

Woke up in the middle of the night with the song on my head. When I woke up again this morning, I heard it again. It was playing over and over again in my head. Often how I get messages is the music that plays in my head upon waking. This is the song:

I want to suggest you really hear the lyrics. I feel like the song is about a choice and a new beginning. (Perhaps that is not what is meant by Duran Duran, but I have to go with my gut on this one and it feels like leaving behind the old is a choice and waking to the light of your soul on this new moon is another choice.) My guides for the past few weeks have been saying hibernate, hibernate and all will be different on January 23rd. I didn't realize what they meant until a couple of days ago when I figured out that it was the new moon today and things began to feel a little lighter. There was a sense of forward movement in the universe.

As I type this for all of you, I realize that the song has a lot to do with my twinflame. Today is the new moon and his life will take a turn too. It is time to move forward and boy will life move forward not only for me, but for him as well as all of you too! I want to tell him to get ready, life is about to happen and love is about to become the choice he makes. It feels like the energy has been stagnant and in a stalemate since the Solstice on Dec. 21st. We are getting the go ahead from our angels and guides to take those steps to move forward whether we consciously take them or not. My beloved is going to consciously wake up to love sooner than he even thinks. I feel it to be true today....or has he already?

About an hour after working out this morning, I heard the following song...Could it be I'm falling in love? A song that I heard for a few weeks back in the end of summer of 2010. It was from my twin when we hadn't talked for three months and he was longing to connect with me and he did and all I could feel with him was love when he did connect with me. He even told me he loved me when we talked again. Another long story which I shall share another day... Back to the song, I feel like this is from my twin letting me know he is choosing love....on that note....

I am off for now...I feel more at peace today than the past weekend...

Inspriational Snippet: Self Created Mystery

Good Morning,

I woke to find this quote in my inbox and thought how appropriate it is to share on this day of the New Moon. A quote by Thomas Merton:

"The world as pure object is something that is not there. It is not a reality outside us for which we exist....It is a living and self-creating mystery of which I am myself a part, to which I am myself, my own unique door."

I love this quote because it speaks to us clearly about the fact that we create our life. What we feel and live inside ourselves (our heads and hearts) is what we are living not what the outer world is making us be and become because our outer world is a reflection of what is going on in our inner world. You are the creator of your life. Every thought, feeling and belief is what opens the door to what we experience. Hence, why Thomas Merton suggests the self- creating mystery. What we feel and think moment to moment creates the mystery known as our life. You have to love the power we have.

My wish for you is to understand this, be more conscious of your thoughts and beliefs and to create from a place of love, a place you wish to be and make the life you have always dreamed of happen. If you are having difficulty in doing this and need a little help. My guides suggested that I offer a class in February called "Manifest Your Dreams with Your Thoughts"; it will be held two Saturdays, February 18, 25 from 2:00 to 4:00 p.m. (The date that went out was incorrect in my class listings--oops!) This class will jumpstart your ability to manifest your dreams.

Be love,
EstaRa

Birds Arrived

I sit here this morning looking out my picture window. Yes, again...I don't have curtains on my living room window because I can't afford a curtain rod that big right now. So it is completely open for me. I have to say that I honestly like it completely open despite the fact that it may make this room a little more cold than normal. I get this beautiful show of nature right before my eyes. I mean I have been sitting here getting ready to write to you all and I have been sidetracked by the show the birds and squirrels are putting on for me. I don't remember ever seeing nature as amazing at I am seeing it right now, right here. Probably because windows are usually covered in the window to keep out the cold or because windows are not the focus of the room. Yes, I have a television, but I hardly ever have that on. Instead, I watch the nature show right outside my window. I love it. It keeps me in the mode of enjoy moment to moment.

I woke up this morning with thoughts of my twin. (When I use the word twin, I am almost always referring to my twinflame as I do not have a biological twin just a soul twinflame.) I always feel him ethereally. I woke with the sensation that he was in bed next to me. I felt his arms around me, holding me. I didn't want to open my eyes to I could continue to experience the feeling a little while longer. So I slept in late today. I even saw glimpses of him sleeping in this morning too. I saw his soft smile as he lay in bed peacefully sleeping. I love that smile. It brings tears to my eyes to think about his smile; I haven't seen his smile in person since June 2011. This is the longest it has been since I have seen him in a few years because for awhile there he made time to see me. Now, he tells me it is too difficult to make time, but I know better. What I know is that it is too difficult for him to feel all the love he feels for me. The beauty and curse for him is that he loves me. And, he can't hide it anymore. He feels it all the time and when he sees me it pains him to know how much he loves me and is not with me. I feel honored that his love is so powerful, but at the same time I feel so hurt that he would rather not be with me at this time because of the fears he has of changing his life. I will stop there because today I am not wanting to go down that emotional path today...it may creep up later, but I don't want to bring it to the forefront..back to watching the birds. By the way, the birds are all black with the exception of the two blue jays that arrived...thank you blue jays. Here is a message about the animal totem blue jay...

"Blue jay animal symbolism resonates truth, faithfulness, and solidarity because they are vigilant in their tasks. They also keep the same mate for life, which is symbolic of endurance, patience and loyalty. The jay is an excellent symbol for those wishing to honor their long-lasting bond between friends, family and lovers." Excerpt from the website: http://www.whats-your-sign.com.

Appropriate me thinks as I type this about my beloved twinflame....and again, did you notice the word faithfulness there? Hmm....someone is trying to get me to hold on....

I am so grateful for the show nature is putting on for me so that I have something beautiful to focus upon all day.

Nothing to Report

Hello Everyone,

It is 9:00 p.m. and this is the first I am blogging. It is day five of this journey of twinflame faith. Today, I watched the snow fall outside my window--it was magical. It looked like I was in a snowglobe. The only thing missing is my twinflame. I really miss him this evening (and yes there really isn't any time that I don't miss him, but more today than usual). I want to talk with him. I want to hear his voice. I wish he were here to enjoy the snowfall with me. Nothing to really share today; so I am going to share a song that one of my friends shared with me....




It is definitely a twinflame song and sure feels like me; especially sitting here listening to this song....

I Still Glow

Good Morning World,

It is day four of my adventure into keeping the faith and this week it has been really difficult so now I know why my guides want me to blog about my faith that my twinflame. It has not been easy and everything is pointing to Valentine's Day and wondering if I will hear from him by then or not. Though, I did tell him do not call me that if he wanted to talk to me then he would have to come see me. Okay so emotional on that one to say the least. It was for my highest good and ultimately for his too. What does that all mean? I don't know if I will hear from him. I don't know what will happen. I can tell you what I do know. I know I will see him and I know that we will be together---the how's, the why's, the when's, the what's I am not supposed to be asking about as told by my guides. They said those questions leave doubts so when I talk about my twinflame--try to help me by not asking those questions. :) Anyway, there is much more to talk about as yesterday was a little enlightening for me.

I discovered two things yesterday. The first is about my birthday. My birthday is March 1 in case you all didn't know and this year I will be 40. Wow--I know a lot of women don't like giving out their age, but me on the other hand I have no problem--I love me just as I am. I was writing an email to a friend yesterday and discovered something about me and my twinflame. The hardest time of year for me during this time of knowing him is not Christmas, not New Years, but my birthday. My birthday is so important to me; and I want him there with me in some way, shape or form. (and ethereally doesn't count as I know he will be there that way and has been there that way for many years.) As I was writing to my friend, I, for the first time, realized that it was because my birthday symbolizes me coming back into this life to be with him. I realized I came back in this life (because I had already ascended) only to reunite with him and bring him home. What a revelation to me. It helped me to understand my sadness around this time of year.

My journey with this man has been nearly seven years as I may have mentioned and there is only one time that he acknowledged my birthday in some way. He called me on the day and sang Happy Birthday to me in a voicemail (that was huge--he normally never leaves voicemails--if he ever does then I would know things have really shifted within him because I can't imagine that he doesn't leave anyone a voicemail). Anyway, I digress, but what a big reveal for me.

The next revelation came when I was having lunch with a friend yesterday. We were out to lunch and she asked how is the "man"? The interesting thing and I do have to digress for a moment is that people are so kind, but they do not understand the whole twinflame thing and how it is definitely not a normal relationship by society's standards--it is far beyond that in many ways: good, bad, indifferent. I really believe that sometimes my friends appease me by listening and just think I am plain crazy to love this man, but it is what it is; and truthfully, I would probably think the same if I didn't know better and wait yes, I have thought the same thing about me many, many times.

Anyway back to my revelation. I was talking a very short bit about him and she said to me you, you look radiant and then as I talked about him, she told me I was glowing. It struck me because I had forgotten; I had forgotten that I glow. (unfortunately, it has been heavy and emotional for me with regard to my twinflame for some time.), That is something I do. I glow! I come alive when I think about him, when I talk about him and when I am with him. (Just a side note, he does too!! Remember, I told you he was older than me? Well, when he is in my presence, he drops all those years and becomes a teenage boy! He is adorable!!)

It brought me back to when I first met him; well that is not entirely true. I met my twinflame online. Yes, on the computer. I was home sitting at my computer and drafting up my first brochure for my business. I was such a procrastinator then so I popped online. (Back when online was safe and people where mostly truthful like giving real names.) I went into an AOL chat room. (Back when AOL chatrooms were somewhat normal--I wouldn't know now, but I know shortly after that time things were really not so good.) That is how I met him. (I'll explain more someday.) So to quickly get to my point, we talked almost daily online. We hadn't talked on the phone yet and then one night I was getting ready to go to a Pampered Chef Party at a friend's house. I was home waiting for my other friend to come by and pick me up. He called me. (We couldn't wait to hear each other's voice.) I remember it like it was yesterday. He sounded so cute. (that is what I thought that day.) I loved his voice. The point is that I was talking to him on the phone when my doorbell rang. I answered the door and let my friend walk in. I told him that I had to go (it was brief ten minute conversation) and when I hung up, I exclaimed, "I love his voice and I adore this man; there is something about him." My friend looked at me and said "You are glowing." She said, "I have never seen you look this way. Not even about your ex-boyfriend. You are simply beautiful you are just glowing."

I think I have always glowed whenever I think about him, talked to him or seen him since that day. (Perhaps, I had glowed sooner, but no one was there to witness it.) The magic is that I still glow...

Day 3: Allowing Yourself to Believe in the Impossible

Good Morning World, are you out there?

I hope someone is out there witnessing parts of my journey. I am so grateful and I feel so blessed from last year's experiences that on New Year's day as I always do I make a list of what I want to manifest for the year ahead and beyond. This year was so different for me. I truly only had one thing that I wished to manifest and that is the reunion of me and my twinflame in the physical 3D permanently. I felt such deep gratitude for the previous year. I honestly haven't been able to share with you all the magic with which transpired over the past year because so much happened and so quickly that I just couldn't keep up on my blog.

Last year 2011 was one of the most incredible years I had in terms of impossibilities becoming possible. I mean really when I think about all the magnificient things that I allowed in last year (notice I said allowed? The reality is that we are the only ones who allow or prevent things from truly manifesting in our life--we are the captain of our ship--and no not sailing anywhere just yet.) I allowed so much into my life because I was in the faith that everything is possible. I am still in that faith. I surround myself with people in that faith--not to say that I am 24 x7 in that faith believe me I have my moments too..just ask my friends. Hence why I am on my mission to stay in the faith of it all...a direct assignment from my guides and you will be living this assignment with me if you wish to follow along. The truth is that the only thing in my life that I feel doubt about from time to time is my twinflame reunion. The thing is that since I have met him I saw our future and it has not happened as of yet. However, the problem or snag in it all is just that it hasn't happened yet. Notice I emphasize yet because I am guided to say that and feel that is most appropriate to say. I still believe I will be with him. Right now I am "allowing" the universe to bring to me my reunion. It is time now I know that, I feel that and I believe that.

This morning when I woke up I was visited by beloved Saint Germain and he shared the following message with me to share with everyone..."Believe in the impossible! Humans often focus their energy and attention on things being impossible; if they only knew what makes things impossible is the way they are thinking. Today look at everything in your world and believe it is possible. Watch how quickly you transform your life and the world around you."

So today in my life I will hold moment to moment my belief in the impossible (the reunion of my twinflame) as humanly it sometimes appears as if it could never happen. But I am told it will so I stay in faith and believe.

Day 2: The Quest to Stay in Faith

It is day two of my quest to stay in the faith of it all; that is the faith of my reunion of the My reunion with my twinflame is the one thing I have been manifesting since I was 5. Age 5, you say? You wonder how that is possible. Well, I will tell you. When I was a five year old little girl, I had many memories from my past lives. Here are just a few: I actually remembered incarnating as a horse, living and dying in the Holocaust and having the knowledge that I was born too late. God Bless my parents for having a child like me back in the 70's. I look at the children today and I see how difficult it can be for them, but them I think back to just how difficult it was for me at times, hence the being sick all the time as a child. The good news for children today is that they have more open opportunities around them and parents are much more open. But I digress, back to my experience as a little girl at five years old. When I was five years old and really throughout my childhood, I would tell everyone that I was born too late. People would ask me if my birthday was in April since my parents named me April; and I would tell them no I was born in March because I couldn't wait to get here. I knew that my twin had come back to Earth before me. I knew that he would be older than me. Hence he is older than me. I was so sure that this lifetime was it. I remember a few years ago when I was working on one of my clients I saw a lot of her past lives come up during our healing session and it was connected to her throat chakra and her need to express herself. I told her what I saw when I was working on her. She asked me if I ever did a between lives reading the time between lives. I told her no and she said she had and didn't like what she saw and wondered why she came back. I immediately said to her, "I have no idea why I came back." In that moment, I was pulled out of this dimension into another where I was in a spiral of energy (it felt like I was gone at least and hour, but it was only a moment) where I was shown why I came back to be with him, my twinflame. I was told in that moment of time that the reason I came back was to be with him that this is the lifetime we would finally reunite with each other. I will end here now today with the following: I knew the moment I heard his voice that he was the one...

My Next 30-60 Day Journey

Hello my beautiful soul friends,

Most of you know that I have met my twinflame and most of you know that my journey with my twin has not always been easy. I know I have promised to write more about my twin so that I could help all of you and help me. Unfortunately, time has moved so swiftly that I barely have finished blogging my trip to Egypt..I still have a couple more to upload, but for now I am going to deal with this issue of Twinflames. I apologize for leaving you all out on my adventures for 2011, but so much happened and I was not attached nearly to my electronic item known as a laptop. I traveled to Hawaii, Michigan twice and Sedona...that was all after my trip to Egypt. I don't know what is in store for me this year, but I am sure something magnificent, perhaps finally the full reunion of my twinflame in the physical plane. Full Reunion for all twinflames in the physical plane....that is my one anticipation---it is all happening now.

As you all know I have met my twinsoul in the 3D sense almost 7 years ago (it will be 7 years in June that we met) and while we are not together in the physical sense of 3D as of yet, it is surely on its way to manifestation..there is no time, no place....it simply is now time.

(As a side note, I have been told that the time is now since June of 2008--just sayin!) But I do believe the time is now as we can't leave 2012 without it all happening now.

There is so much more I can write and plan to write about my twin, but today time is of the essence (as I have clients soon) so I will just share what the next 30-60 days of my life will be. I have been getting the message clearly to trust and have faith--I even dreamed recently that I was moving boxes...one labeled trust and the other labeled faith--that is how much the message is getting hammered into me. Yes, I am psychic and do amazing readings for people (so I am told); however, when it comes to this twin thing oy I have doubted. I have had enough doubt to fill a superbowl stadium over the last several years about my twinflame and who he is and if I am crazy. Many of you will think I am crazy and many of you do think I am crazy; however, it is what it is. As the Universe made loud and clear to me on my trip to Hawaii when I saw this sign staring me in my face....

So a remedy for this is to write about my twinflame and stay in the love, trust and faith of it and the love, trust and faith of him and his soul's journey as it is bringing him right to me. My guides said it is time now to stop doubting as we are manifesting what we think quite rapidly. So, I have made a commitment to myself that over the next 30-60 days I will honor the twinflame relationship that I have in some way. My goal is to share more about my twin relationship and experiences so that you can all witness my journey and help me to eliminate doubt from my vocabulary. It has been entirely too difficult to do it alone so I am recruiting you all to help me stay the path of allowing, trusting and having faith. I am told by my guides that each day I must blog something about twinflames, my twin relationship or something about love to boost up my faith quotient ...the time is now to hang on tight to my dreams they say as they are manifesting....and I am seeing glimpses which is more than I have seen in some time.

"So for those of you wondering...what is a twinflame: Twin Flames are the two people whose souls are really one. It's generally believed that both members of this couple must be spiritually evolved to finally meet and come together as a permanent couple." This is a quote from a website I do not know as I closed the page before I got the name so I apologize, but it is a great way to explain twinflames for now. There are more of my blog posts already entered that discuss twinflames. For now....I am in faith.

Inspirational Snippet: Forgiveness

Good Morning Everyone,

I was sitting here in my apartment watching the sunrise over Guilford. It is truly quite amazing I have this beautiful picture window that my sofa faces and it is like having a giant television in my living room that lives and breathes. I get to watch the sunrise, the sunset, the clouds move all day long in the brillant blue sky, the moon rise with all its magic...I love it and I really don't want curtains, but I believe I probably should have them, but then again..do I have to? Probably not! That will be determined later anyway I digress.

I just had a brief meditation and Mary Magdalene came in with a message for me and all of you and I wanted to share.

The message is about forgiveness. Now is the time dear children to make a list of all the things that are holding you back. Look closely at this list and make a connection that person who you felt assisted in the process of hurting you and begin to forgive them. It is as simple as getting a piece of paper and writing a letter to them telling them how they hurt you, telling them how it made you feel and then allowing them to come through your writing as to why they did what they did (if you are open enough to allow that--do not let ego get in the way here --this part is from EstaRa) and then tell them you release them and forgive them. Dear children, you can change the very nature of that relationship by simply forgiveness. It does not mean that you will necessarily want them to be a core part of your life, but children you are them and they are you. It is the truth of who you are and forgiveness will open your blocks. Now is the time, now is the moment you can release and let go.

I wish you each of you the process of your journey of forgiveness to be one of love and peace.

In love,
EstaRa

Channel: Rediscovery of Your True Self

Channeled through EstaRa in Guilford, CT on January 12, 2012.

Greetings Dear Ones,

It is time. It is time for you to step out of the boundaries of your mind and step into the openness of your hearts. It is time to make the magic that you so long have waited to make. You are just beginning to see the fruit of your work. The time is now for your soul to open wide and take over the very nature you have been living and transform your world to one of love, beauty and magic.


Today is a day like no other. The very magic of who you are can be tapped into and once tapped it will stay with you permanently. What do you wish to do with this bit of information? Do you wish to shy away from what is truly yours or do you wish to go fully forward into the dreams you have so cherished for so long? We say to you that you have a choice just as you do each and every day of your life to make the magic happen in your life that you have so wished. Now you are given that day to make what you will with it. Let today 1.12.12 be known as the beginning of the new you. It is the opportunity for you to step into what you must in order for you to go forward and see that beginning at the end of this month you will have more sure footing. Right now we ask you to choose that which you so desire. The energies are on your side for transformation and change. You have the opportunity for the greatest transformation in your life now. Contemplate it if you must, but make a choice to see your desires and dreams manifest.

Hibernate has been the message for EstaRa in the last weeks and she has obeyed somewhat. Although her human self has gotten in the way of her hibernation, but we give her great honor for she is taking the steps to hibernate so that at month’s end she can come out fully to who she is in her new space. Is it not interesting that the divine timing for EstaRa’s new entrance into her new place be at the time that humanity has the opportunity for a new entrance into self? EstaRa’s life is symbolically where the path of humanity lies. Hibernate we say hibernate, contemplate and activate yourselves for service in this world. Service we wish to tell you is not what humanity has long held as service rather it is love. Love is a service, did you not know? Love is everything and by stepping into your heart and being love you are stepping into your dreams and making love in this world. Love is the energy with which you must go forward. You serve greater humanity dear ones through your gift of love. Did you know how powerful love can be? Did you know love is by far the most high vibrational magic? Love of yourself expands out to love of one another and again expands out to love of humanity which in turn expands out to the love of Earth herself: that dear ones is how you change the world in which you live. Be not afraid of the next steps you must take for they are easier than you think. They are more cherished by us than you know those steps you take. They are more magnificent than you can imagine at this moment, but one day you will know we assure you that you will look back upon this time as the great rediscovery. Rediscovery of your heart and your capacity to love, it is the rediscovery of your true self. It is that simple dear ones it is that simple.

We often share with EstaRa that she must trust and have faith for the magic is within her; through her trust and faith she creates magic. The power for your world is no longer money nor ego, the power is love and with that; know that love is what will change your very world. The power of love comes from trust and faith in the infinite love that is granted to you by just simply being.
Many lightworkers have been through trying times and experiences; now dear ones is the time to step into that light you have been working so hard to shine in the dark places and know that you are gifted with everything you need within you. You are in the times of living the truth of who you are. You are where you are meant to be at this moment.
We love you dear children of the earth, we love to see how you grow and evolve. We respect your presence on earth for from here we see your light and we see how difficult it has been to stay the light in the darkened times upon earth. We honor the mission each of you has come to earth to experience and know that you are each doing what you came to do in divine and perfect order. You are the light of the world…you will change the very world that you live with your light and love. We ask you to step into this now moment with truth, courage, faith and love.

It is with love, honor and respect that we bring you this message today. We are the Masters of Light.

A New Year's Message from the Masters of Light

A New Year's Message from the Masters of Light

Hello Everyone,

This is EstaRa. Thank you for your continued love and support throughout the year. I was prompted by my guides to send this message out universally for the new year. There are those of you who wish to receive my channelings, but are not on my list currently to receive channelings. If you wish to receive them, please do one of the following: go to my website to sing up for them or at the bottom of this email you can change your email preferences to include channeled messages. Thank you for taking the time to read and now onto the channel.
Love and light,
EstaRa

Channeled through EstaRa on 1/2/2012 in Guilford, CT.

Greetings Children of the Earth,

It is now the time of magic upon your earth. Your earth calendars now say that it is the month of January in 2012. We say to you …it is now. We wish to emphasize to you that the now moment is what you have been waiting for and we wish to say to you that it is now. We wish you to know that now is the only time that exists on your new earth. Not the tomorrow, not later not even earlier…the only time that truly exists is now that is the present moment. The present moment is what you have control over that is what you are given as a time for creating. You are a creator for that is how you will create what is coming your way . It is the time you must take to make all possible. It is now. We tell you this for the energy of 2012 will show you much and one of the things it shall show you is that if you grasp to the concept of time you will find you have none; however, if you stay in the now moment you will find that you complete and do everything that you have chosen to do in that time. As the concept of time shifts for the entire planet you will see how that will impact each individual. We are giving you this information so that you know what to do and be prepared for those around you. They may be the one who grasp to the concept of time for they will think that is the security blanket that they have been holding onto for so long; however, it is not and will not act as if. Instead it will create more of a shortage of time. However, if you stay within the moment you will have all that you need if you stay in the moment. So again we say to you…it is now.

This period of enlightenment you are in (EstaRa had us correct the word time as we were about to use that to explain the following, instead she suggested we use the world enlightenment) will extend throughout your calendars in your 2012 year and beyond; however, your greatest changes will begin to manifest in this calendar year that you call 2012. (We give you this information in time words as that is what you understand at this time.) The greatest opportunities are available for you now in this energy of change. It is upon you…what will you do with them? How do you wish to see things ? Will you be proactive in the changes of the earth and humanity? Or will you sit back watch wait for someone to come save you? Dear ones, you are the ones! You are the light, you are now awakened you have the power within you to change everything you have the magic..you are truly the ones you have been waiting for ….you have been waiting for the big reveal. The big reveal is that you are the magic, you are the light and you are the creators. Is that not a revelation to you? We think it is a big reveal; however, there are those of you who were perhaps expecting more of fireworks display and more of a musical entrance perhaps? Is that not so? Does it not seem like it is magic when you have your power? It is the truuuuuuuuuuuuuuth of it all. It is thhhhhhhhhe magic of it all. (My guides typed out truth and the in that way and was asked to leave it that way for this channel.)

With this knowledge and information we wish for you to go forth and teach, live and be in that moment. Know that you are the creators with every thought and emotion that you have. Yes, some of you get stuck and some of you are stuck…those of you that are stuck it is simply because you have chosen not to clear somethings that have been your blocks within you. It is time to clear the blocks within you within you. The work is less now, but it still requires your choice. We ask you to choose now to remove the old and truly step into who you are now. You are the creators of your world. How do you wish to create and what do you wish to create?

It is with love honor and respect that we bring you this message today. We are the Masters of Light. Namaste.