This journey to keep the faith is probably at the most difficult time for me. I mean I have been hanging onto faith for nearly seven years now, but the last few weeks have been the hardest I must say. Now I understand why my guides wanted me to write everyday about my love about my twinflame and the love I know so deeply within me. That is the thing I do know our love so deeply within me; this 3D illusion is so difficult sometimes. I I woke this morning feeling like it is so difficult holding on waiting for him. I feel like I am not living and when I do live and do something I feel alone without him...it feels so trying at times. I just want it to all come together now. I have been living in the now and each year that has gone by I keep hearing hold on a little longer...what am I holding onto I ask myself some days. I wonder when we do come together am I going to have the energy needed to be with him or will I fall asleep.lol (I joke, but sometimes this journey has been so exhausting.
Then, I got up out of bed after all those thoughts ran through my head and some tears fell. I went into the kitchen and did my dishes from the night before and made some breakfast. I turned on the radio for what seems like a very long time--I use Pandora Radio (online) and started to listen to music and sing a bit and then as I was cooking breakfast I started to hear the lyrics..."hang on, help is on its way.. ." I thought to myself thank you my guides and angels for this message. It was needed and I trust that help is on its way to both me and my twin. Here is the song in case you were wondering...
Somedays, I need my twinflame like I need water. I mean in the other dimensions I am with him...it is only here in 3D that I do not have him in a daily part of my life. Thanks for listening....
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Inspirational Snippet: Why On Earth Would Anyone Want to be Nothing?
Many of you know me well enough to know that I do not watch television. I have a tv in my apartment and yes I have the basic of basic cable which is no more than 6 channels (and yes, still have to pay for a cable box). The purpose of me having that cable is so that I can have internet. Apparently internet alone would be a minimum of $25 more per month than if I have both. Isn’t that interesting how we are forced to have something we have no use for? Hmmm…a concept for all of you to ponder.
I’ve noticed that since I have a tv, I will put a DVD in every once in awhile. Then occasionally when the movie is out, I may see that the tv has a rerun of a tv show that I enjoy and I may watch it from time to time, but truly that is the extent of my tv watching. I mean I can literally go days, even week s without turning the tv on. (I know some of you cannot even imagine it!) I preface today’s snippet with the above to give you a context of where I am coming from. And so, the following quote is from Barbara Marciniak’s book: The Path of Empowerment (A Pleiadian Channeled book ) Yep, I was reading again. (By the way, Pleiadians are star beings much like my Guides the Arcturians.) Onto the snippet:
“The media captures your attention and then programs your imagination, essentially canceling out your unique creative drive to manifest your own reality as well as your desire to know yourself. You have been conditioned to believe that all you need to know can be found in the wonderful world of electronic boxes and the information and the entertainment they hold. A paralysis of power takes hold because you become convinced that the only reality is one that is described and prescribed by the authorities in the box. Reality is created by each and every one of you…”
I loved this passage and wanted to share it with you for it speaks loudly of your ability to create your reality, but first you have to realize the impact media has on you. Last week happened to be one of those times that I attempted to turn the tv on to watch a rerun of a program (the Big Bang theory just because it is funny and I actually find myself laughing out loud when I watch). A commercial came on the screen and it was the following: A very unhealthy looking woman (extremely skinny—you could actually see her bones) was in an advertisement saying the following: I went from a size 8 to a size 0. I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it! It actually prompted me to text a couple of friends about it and talk about it with a few people over the past week.
First, the woman looked completely unhealthy physically. Second, since when is zero the optimum size to be? Third, the biggest message I found was this: when I went to school and learned math (even basic addition and subtraction) I remember if you have 8 and take away 8 then what is left is zero, in other words, nothing. Why on earth would anyone want to be nothing? And finally, I think the shock took over because I am not a tv watcher and it came across as truly disturbing to someone who is not influenced by media (someone who sees clearly). What a distorted image our media is putting out there?
Now, I realize that some of you watch tv, see the models and what is going on out in the world today on a regular basis and think nothing of it (often because you have become immune to the media) but please think something of it. Immune to the media means that you have accepted what is out there as truth and what is even more disturbing is that your “imagination is being programmed” by media verus allowing your own imagination to flower. The thing that scares me the most about that commercial is that in reality some (if not many) women strive for that; perhaps not to be a size zero, but they strive to be anything but what they are.
Ladies, you are perfect and beautiful as you are. The message from today’s snippet that I really want you to take is “Reality is created by each and every one of you!” That means you each have the power to see the truth and create your reality. You can help change the reality we see by way of your thoughts and by choosing not to be programmed by the media (simply turn off the tv). Remember television and movies are only the “creator’s perception” (that is, the person who created the movie, commercial or tv show). Hmmm…something else for you to ponder: perhaps our thoughts and imagination should influence the creator not the other way around? Or as a society, perhaps we need to examine our thoughts so that the creator picks up a much healthier influence from us?
My wish for you today is that you turn off the tv and create your reality from within your heart not from what is being fed to you by way of the “box”. I wish for you to strive to be anything, but zero. (That was the most horrifying message I think I have seen in sometime.)
I’ve noticed that since I have a tv, I will put a DVD in every once in awhile. Then occasionally when the movie is out, I may see that the tv has a rerun of a tv show that I enjoy and I may watch it from time to time, but truly that is the extent of my tv watching. I mean I can literally go days, even week s without turning the tv on. (I know some of you cannot even imagine it!) I preface today’s snippet with the above to give you a context of where I am coming from. And so, the following quote is from Barbara Marciniak’s book: The Path of Empowerment (A Pleiadian Channeled book ) Yep, I was reading again. (By the way, Pleiadians are star beings much like my Guides the Arcturians.) Onto the snippet:
“The media captures your attention and then programs your imagination, essentially canceling out your unique creative drive to manifest your own reality as well as your desire to know yourself. You have been conditioned to believe that all you need to know can be found in the wonderful world of electronic boxes and the information and the entertainment they hold. A paralysis of power takes hold because you become convinced that the only reality is one that is described and prescribed by the authorities in the box. Reality is created by each and every one of you…”
I loved this passage and wanted to share it with you for it speaks loudly of your ability to create your reality, but first you have to realize the impact media has on you. Last week happened to be one of those times that I attempted to turn the tv on to watch a rerun of a program (the Big Bang theory just because it is funny and I actually find myself laughing out loud when I watch). A commercial came on the screen and it was the following: A very unhealthy looking woman (extremely skinny—you could actually see her bones) was in an advertisement saying the following: I went from a size 8 to a size 0. I was horrified. I couldn’t believe it! It actually prompted me to text a couple of friends about it and talk about it with a few people over the past week.
First, the woman looked completely unhealthy physically. Second, since when is zero the optimum size to be? Third, the biggest message I found was this: when I went to school and learned math (even basic addition and subtraction) I remember if you have 8 and take away 8 then what is left is zero, in other words, nothing. Why on earth would anyone want to be nothing? And finally, I think the shock took over because I am not a tv watcher and it came across as truly disturbing to someone who is not influenced by media (someone who sees clearly). What a distorted image our media is putting out there?
Now, I realize that some of you watch tv, see the models and what is going on out in the world today on a regular basis and think nothing of it (often because you have become immune to the media) but please think something of it. Immune to the media means that you have accepted what is out there as truth and what is even more disturbing is that your “imagination is being programmed” by media verus allowing your own imagination to flower. The thing that scares me the most about that commercial is that in reality some (if not many) women strive for that; perhaps not to be a size zero, but they strive to be anything but what they are.
Ladies, you are perfect and beautiful as you are. The message from today’s snippet that I really want you to take is “Reality is created by each and every one of you!” That means you each have the power to see the truth and create your reality. You can help change the reality we see by way of your thoughts and by choosing not to be programmed by the media (simply turn off the tv). Remember television and movies are only the “creator’s perception” (that is, the person who created the movie, commercial or tv show). Hmmm…something else for you to ponder: perhaps our thoughts and imagination should influence the creator not the other way around? Or as a society, perhaps we need to examine our thoughts so that the creator picks up a much healthier influence from us?
My wish for you today is that you turn off the tv and create your reality from within your heart not from what is being fed to you by way of the “box”. I wish for you to strive to be anything, but zero. (That was the most horrifying message I think I have seen in sometime.)
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day 17:
It is the eve of day 17 so close to day 18 that I have to finish writing pretty quickly. I missed out on writing yesterday and this morning too. (Really busy schedule, but I didn't forget really.)
I wanted to share something from yesterday. As I worked on a couple of clients, I kept feeling my twinflame's presence, but I was working so I couldn't connect with him. Then later in the day, I felt him again and had the opportunity to connect with him. I felt him, but could not connect. I wasn't sure why. It made me really sad to think I can feel him, but can't connect to him.
I had to ask my guides what was happening. This is the answer they gave me: You and your twinflame are at different vibrational levels at this now time. You are such high vibration and he is still at a lower vibration. While he is working in the higher dimension to raise his 3D self to a higher vibration--he is not able to be experienced by you in the same way because you are of higher vibration. It simply means that you are being protected from his human drama. (I get this! I get this! It means that I am at such a high vibrational level that I am being protected from being pulled into lower vibrations where I could potentially get stuck; and therefore, inhibit my ascension. It also helped me to understand why I was able to have such power in telling him that I could not speak with him until he was ready; hence why we are not talking at this moment.) Unfortunately, the lower vibrational energy wins in this case and would pull me down to his vibrational level which could cause all kinds of ickyness. Meaning, I would feel all the emotions and drama that he is going through in his current life, etc and I would get pulled into the emotions and not know if they are mine or his. That is a "symptom"of the twinflame connection: you feel all their stuff and sometimes don't realize it is theirs and not yours until well after you expend a lot of emotion, energy and frustration. It helped give me perspective as to why I didn't feel him and why I am not speaking with him at present. (Just in case you are wondering--he will catapult up to my vibration when he takes that leap of faith to trust his heart.) Now, I understand this and am quite grateful for this tidbit of information, but please all of you remind me of this when I am feeling the disconnect again and have forgotten this reason. (I know, I know, you would think I wouldn't forget such things, but I do especially when I allow myself to get caught up in the longing for him...so I am just asking for a little reminder. hahaha)
Now, once I got that out and understood, I had an experience with him today. I went to my first ever painting class. I loved it! I have never painted before in my life; but my spirit was calling for the opportunity to do such. The opportunity showed itself to me and I took hold of it. Now, I am not a Picasso or anything, but I think I did good. Here is a picture of my painting..
I went to the art studio and while I was there I felt him. He was with me and I felt like this is something we could do together. I loved every minute of it. By the way, the place I went to paint at had a problem with their cd changer; it kept playing the same songs over and over. The one song that I heard at least 3-4 times was Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker. The lyrics that kept playing that I caught were:
Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world where few hearts survive
All I know is the way I feel
When it's real
I keep it alive
The road is long
There are mountains in the way
But we climb a step every day
I really felt like those words were for us. It is to help me keep my feelings alive (faith alive for who knows when the surprise will come with him at my doorstep). Then the mountains--that is his life and his spirit letting me know he climbs a step each day even if it is taking him some time.
Well, I am tired an ready to go to sleep and guess what time it is? If you said 11:11 p.m.--you guessed it. I am grateful for my twin peeking in on me energetically even if I can't talk to him like I would like. Regardless, he was with me today. Thank you my beautiful beloved man. I am grateful for all of you who support me with your love and faith in me and my journey. Laptop about to die...off to bed I go...sweet dreams...
I wanted to share something from yesterday. As I worked on a couple of clients, I kept feeling my twinflame's presence, but I was working so I couldn't connect with him. Then later in the day, I felt him again and had the opportunity to connect with him. I felt him, but could not connect. I wasn't sure why. It made me really sad to think I can feel him, but can't connect to him.
I had to ask my guides what was happening. This is the answer they gave me: You and your twinflame are at different vibrational levels at this now time. You are such high vibration and he is still at a lower vibration. While he is working in the higher dimension to raise his 3D self to a higher vibration--he is not able to be experienced by you in the same way because you are of higher vibration. It simply means that you are being protected from his human drama. (I get this! I get this! It means that I am at such a high vibrational level that I am being protected from being pulled into lower vibrations where I could potentially get stuck; and therefore, inhibit my ascension. It also helped me to understand why I was able to have such power in telling him that I could not speak with him until he was ready; hence why we are not talking at this moment.) Unfortunately, the lower vibrational energy wins in this case and would pull me down to his vibrational level which could cause all kinds of ickyness. Meaning, I would feel all the emotions and drama that he is going through in his current life, etc and I would get pulled into the emotions and not know if they are mine or his. That is a "symptom"of the twinflame connection: you feel all their stuff and sometimes don't realize it is theirs and not yours until well after you expend a lot of emotion, energy and frustration. It helped give me perspective as to why I didn't feel him and why I am not speaking with him at present. (Just in case you are wondering--he will catapult up to my vibration when he takes that leap of faith to trust his heart.) Now, I understand this and am quite grateful for this tidbit of information, but please all of you remind me of this when I am feeling the disconnect again and have forgotten this reason. (I know, I know, you would think I wouldn't forget such things, but I do especially when I allow myself to get caught up in the longing for him...so I am just asking for a little reminder. hahaha)
Now, once I got that out and understood, I had an experience with him today. I went to my first ever painting class. I loved it! I have never painted before in my life; but my spirit was calling for the opportunity to do such. The opportunity showed itself to me and I took hold of it. Now, I am not a Picasso or anything, but I think I did good. Here is a picture of my painting..
I went to the art studio and while I was there I felt him. He was with me and I felt like this is something we could do together. I loved every minute of it. By the way, the place I went to paint at had a problem with their cd changer; it kept playing the same songs over and over. The one song that I heard at least 3-4 times was Up Where We Belong by Joe Cocker. The lyrics that kept playing that I caught were:
Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world where few hearts survive
All I know is the way I feel
When it's real
I keep it alive
The road is long
There are mountains in the way
But we climb a step every day
I really felt like those words were for us. It is to help me keep my feelings alive (faith alive for who knows when the surprise will come with him at my doorstep). Then the mountains--that is his life and his spirit letting me know he climbs a step each day even if it is taking him some time.
Well, I am tired an ready to go to sleep and guess what time it is? If you said 11:11 p.m.--you guessed it. I am grateful for my twin peeking in on me energetically even if I can't talk to him like I would like. Regardless, he was with me today. Thank you my beautiful beloved man. I am grateful for all of you who support me with your love and faith in me and my journey. Laptop about to die...off to bed I go...sweet dreams...
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Inspirational Snippet: Endurance
This morning I woke up and was about to make a cup of tea when on the box I saw a picture of a horse and the word next to it was Endurance. I thought for a moment, what does that mean? Why did I see this today when the box has been here for some time? I read the box and it said the following quote:
“With her enduring strength and unrivaled perseverance, the horse demonstrates to us that even the heaviest of burdens can be carried with grace.”
I made my cup of tea and sat down to get ready to write the message for the day on my Soul Star Healing facebook page and asked what does this mean for me? I thought about it. Then I opted to look up online what the word endurance means and the definition is the ability for a human or animal to exert itself and remain active for a long period of time, as well as its ability to resist, withstand, recover from, and have immunity to trauma, wounds, or fatigue. Wow! I do not like that definition.
I feel such a negative reaction to this word. It makes me feel as if we are being told we must endure something (like the heaviest of burdens as noted above). I don’t think we are meant to endure burdens; that is an old way of thinking and living. I feel we are meant to live, experience and heal; but we are not meant to suffer and withstand pain. If a wound occurs, then that is a sign that we must look at ourselves and heal it; not accept it and take no action. Everything is within our power to change. The quote above implies to me that we are supposed to carry our burdens; and act as if we don’t have burdens we are carrying. It reminds me of something I experienced in when I went to therapy many years ago. I was dealing with some personal stuff and the therapist told me to put it in a box and close it up and we will talk about it next week. Really? I don’t know about you, but life happens and that box always had a way of opening up and coming out in life—believe me it didn’t stay sealed. As I type this, I realize that the therapist at the time actually was saying the same thing as the tea box above said. As a side note, that is when I stopped going to therapy and really began healing my life by way of knowing I needed to feel things to heal and not just talk about them. I am grateful to the therapist for the first step in any healing process is to verbalize and acknowledge it, but then something must be done to heal it, not box it up.
The thing is if you feel you can’t share your burdens with your friends then I would recommend reevaluating your relationships. It doesn’t mean dumping your stuff on them; it simply means sharing and allowing you to be who you are. Friends are people you choose to love unconditionally and they are chosen because they love you unconditionally, at least that is my definition of friendship. Friends are supposed to be there for you through it all; often that is when you become aware of who is really your friends and who is simply there for only the good times. You are not meant to endure life’s difficulties alone, we are all one and with that being said we are here for one another and sometimes life doesn’t graceful, but it can be most graceful if we allow ourselves to experience life, heal those things that come up and realize that we are not victims that have to carry our burdens alone. We can change everything, we do have the power. I would much prefer to define endurance as the ability to live a long and fulfilling life.
My wish for you today is to know you have friends in your life that help you to make your life more graceful by simply knowing that you can be completely who you are with them and they love you no matter what the circumstance is. My mantra for you today is that I live fully, love unconditionally and heal my life.
Be love,
EstaRa
“With her enduring strength and unrivaled perseverance, the horse demonstrates to us that even the heaviest of burdens can be carried with grace.”
I made my cup of tea and sat down to get ready to write the message for the day on my Soul Star Healing facebook page and asked what does this mean for me? I thought about it. Then I opted to look up online what the word endurance means and the definition is the ability for a human or animal to exert itself and remain active for a long period of time, as well as its ability to resist, withstand, recover from, and have immunity to trauma, wounds, or fatigue. Wow! I do not like that definition.
I feel such a negative reaction to this word. It makes me feel as if we are being told we must endure something (like the heaviest of burdens as noted above). I don’t think we are meant to endure burdens; that is an old way of thinking and living. I feel we are meant to live, experience and heal; but we are not meant to suffer and withstand pain. If a wound occurs, then that is a sign that we must look at ourselves and heal it; not accept it and take no action. Everything is within our power to change. The quote above implies to me that we are supposed to carry our burdens; and act as if we don’t have burdens we are carrying. It reminds me of something I experienced in when I went to therapy many years ago. I was dealing with some personal stuff and the therapist told me to put it in a box and close it up and we will talk about it next week. Really? I don’t know about you, but life happens and that box always had a way of opening up and coming out in life—believe me it didn’t stay sealed. As I type this, I realize that the therapist at the time actually was saying the same thing as the tea box above said. As a side note, that is when I stopped going to therapy and really began healing my life by way of knowing I needed to feel things to heal and not just talk about them. I am grateful to the therapist for the first step in any healing process is to verbalize and acknowledge it, but then something must be done to heal it, not box it up.
The thing is if you feel you can’t share your burdens with your friends then I would recommend reevaluating your relationships. It doesn’t mean dumping your stuff on them; it simply means sharing and allowing you to be who you are. Friends are people you choose to love unconditionally and they are chosen because they love you unconditionally, at least that is my definition of friendship. Friends are supposed to be there for you through it all; often that is when you become aware of who is really your friends and who is simply there for only the good times. You are not meant to endure life’s difficulties alone, we are all one and with that being said we are here for one another and sometimes life doesn’t graceful, but it can be most graceful if we allow ourselves to experience life, heal those things that come up and realize that we are not victims that have to carry our burdens alone. We can change everything, we do have the power. I would much prefer to define endurance as the ability to live a long and fulfilling life.
My wish for you today is to know you have friends in your life that help you to make your life more graceful by simply knowing that you can be completely who you are with them and they love you no matter what the circumstance is. My mantra for you today is that I live fully, love unconditionally and heal my life.
Be love,
EstaRa
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 15: 2.0.12
I woke up this morning with my beloved's energy around me. I dreamed of him last night, but it was a weird dream. It didn't feel real, it felt like a regular dream (you know the mishmashness of things) because when I really dream of him and we have an important conversation with information I need to know there is always something that tells me it is a real connection with him. The way I know is that we always make love in our dreams firstthen talk about important things happening in his life and in my life. Incredible really--but haven't had one of those dreams in sometime. This morning's dream was just plain weird really. But that is not my topic for this post.
It occurred to me that today is 2-1-2012 and one month from this date I will be turning 40!! OH MY!! I can't believe, the last ten years of my life flew by. I have to say the years prior went awfully slow in comparison as I was vibrating at a lower energy level than I am today. Everyone is talking to me about turning 40 and how it should be a big bash or some kind of celebration and well I am thinking truthfully I would be happy alone at dinner with my twinflame, having my favorite Gluten free birthday cake, his arms around me and perhaps some roses from him. That is my birthday wish to be with him. However, in human world, I don't know if that will happen, but one can hope, right?
Instead, I may plan a dinner out with girlfriends or a quiet evening in with girlfriends. I haven't made that decision yet, but I know I need to do something for it! I know that if for some reason my twinflame doesn't show himself to me on my b-day (by the way, I say that because remember, we are not talking at present.) then I don't want to be alone. I don't feel old and I don't feel like I am going to be 40. I think I look pretty good and younger than what I think 40 should look like, but then again, I don't really think 40 has a look. It is weird to think of me turning that age as I didn't imagine that I wouldn't be with my beloved. (Always thought I would be with him at 37 --that is what I knew to be the truth when I was 7 years old.) Of course, that information was clarified to me last year that because some people are lightworkers with their lights flickering between on and off and not staying on impacted the timeline for many things including the reunion of the twins.
Anyway, I don't want to get stuck on the fact that he is not here, but I do want to fantasize a bit on him surprising me in the month of February. I wish for him to call me (unblocking his number of course--long story may share that at some point!) and tell me that he is ready and he is coming to me. He just needed to call to have my new address. I also wish for him to show up at my door with a rose (it can be one he even picks up at an all night gas station) and upon opening my door he tells me, "I remember. I remember now. I love you. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I have spent way too much time imagining life without you and I never want to do that again,. Tell me you still love me and want me." In which, I reply, "Of course dear man, I have always loved you from the first moment we spoke. I will always love you to our last breath. You are my beloved and I am yours eternally." Okay...that was the short quick birthday fantasy. Will keep you all posted on what happens and if it happens that way...of course him just showing up would be grand too...the words can always come later....just to taste his lips once again...
Quickly though, the optimism about the month of February is rising...I feel anticipation of what is to come....
It occurred to me that today is 2-1-2012 and one month from this date I will be turning 40!! OH MY!! I can't believe, the last ten years of my life flew by. I have to say the years prior went awfully slow in comparison as I was vibrating at a lower energy level than I am today. Everyone is talking to me about turning 40 and how it should be a big bash or some kind of celebration and well I am thinking truthfully I would be happy alone at dinner with my twinflame, having my favorite Gluten free birthday cake, his arms around me and perhaps some roses from him. That is my birthday wish to be with him. However, in human world, I don't know if that will happen, but one can hope, right?
Instead, I may plan a dinner out with girlfriends or a quiet evening in with girlfriends. I haven't made that decision yet, but I know I need to do something for it! I know that if for some reason my twinflame doesn't show himself to me on my b-day (by the way, I say that because remember, we are not talking at present.) then I don't want to be alone. I don't feel old and I don't feel like I am going to be 40. I think I look pretty good and younger than what I think 40 should look like, but then again, I don't really think 40 has a look. It is weird to think of me turning that age as I didn't imagine that I wouldn't be with my beloved. (Always thought I would be with him at 37 --that is what I knew to be the truth when I was 7 years old.) Of course, that information was clarified to me last year that because some people are lightworkers with their lights flickering between on and off and not staying on impacted the timeline for many things including the reunion of the twins.
Anyway, I don't want to get stuck on the fact that he is not here, but I do want to fantasize a bit on him surprising me in the month of February. I wish for him to call me (unblocking his number of course--long story may share that at some point!) and tell me that he is ready and he is coming to me. He just needed to call to have my new address. I also wish for him to show up at my door with a rose (it can be one he even picks up at an all night gas station) and upon opening my door he tells me, "I remember. I remember now. I love you. I can't imagine my life without you in it. I have spent way too much time imagining life without you and I never want to do that again,. Tell me you still love me and want me." In which, I reply, "Of course dear man, I have always loved you from the first moment we spoke. I will always love you to our last breath. You are my beloved and I am yours eternally." Okay...that was the short quick birthday fantasy. Will keep you all posted on what happens and if it happens that way...of course him just showing up would be grand too...the words can always come later....just to taste his lips once again...
Quickly though, the optimism about the month of February is rising...I feel anticipation of what is to come....
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Day 14: End of January
It's the end of January and I am on my quest to keep the faith about me and my twin flame. It has been two full weeks and well to be honest, I know I haven't been doing too well. My guides want me to step it up a notch and be in the love!! Be in the Love.
So last night I was on the phone with one of my friends and I was sharing all these funny stories of me and my twin. I was thinking about just how much I love him. I mean I really wonder sometimes why? Not why I love him--he is completely and utterly loveable---it is quite magnificent really. (Not sure he would agree with that interpretation yet. I say yet because someday soon he will agree he is loveable, magnificent and deserves to be happy. By the way, his lack of agreeing that he is loveable, magnificent and deserving of happiness lends to why we are not together as of yet.) I wonder how I could love someone so much who isn't with, who hasn't shared his love with me, who hasn't shared his life with me; and yet, I love everything about him. How is that possible one would ask? I mean everything--even the quirky annoying things, even his bad behavior--I love him. Until I met him and until I had all these truly bizarre experiences over the last several years, I didn't know what unconditional love was. I thank you, my beloved twinflame, for teaching me unconditional love.
Did he teach me unconditional love by loving me unconditionally? NO that definitely was not how. He taught me by being who he is at every moment of every day--the good, the bad (sometimes really painful) and the indifferent behavior and parts of himself--I realized that no matter what I truly love this man. It was really a surprising revelation to me. That is pure and true unconditional love. So I went to bed last night with happy thoughts of his head...I love his head...he has a beautiful heart and his face is so full of light. (he doesn't even know and unfortunately, those around him probably haven't really noticed either.) But I do and did....I love his head. (so much so that I can't stop looking at him) :)
I woke up this morning with Raphael nearby along with a few other angels that joined me last night. I asked for a message for my day and they told me to go and pick a card and the card I picked out was New Romance (Angel Messages Deck by Doreen Virtue) and the card was "New romance is imminent - either with a newcomer, or through reignited passion in your existing relationship. Be open to giving and receiving love." I love it! I know it is about me and my twinflame...I feel it today. (By the way, they told me to pick a card because sometimes I negate what I hear simply because I worry it is what I want to hear!)
I am so glad that the month is ending, it is time to usher in new energy in February. I feel anticipation of what is to come. I feel excited today like all good things are happening.
I will leave you on this final note a message from my angels for my people on facebook...Today's Message from the angels is have faith and patience for what you are asking for is on its way to you. This time period is more a testament of believing in oneself versus having to wait for what you want. You are almost there, don't give up before it happens. (I know not always easy words to hear, but if we stay in patience and faith then the outcome is very near, but when we waver it gets further away...trust me I know! Trust me, that is why I am blogging each day about the love I feel for my twinflame. I love you my dear man. I love you. I have faith in you and believe in us.
So last night I was on the phone with one of my friends and I was sharing all these funny stories of me and my twin. I was thinking about just how much I love him. I mean I really wonder sometimes why? Not why I love him--he is completely and utterly loveable---it is quite magnificent really. (Not sure he would agree with that interpretation yet. I say yet because someday soon he will agree he is loveable, magnificent and deserves to be happy. By the way, his lack of agreeing that he is loveable, magnificent and deserving of happiness lends to why we are not together as of yet.) I wonder how I could love someone so much who isn't with, who hasn't shared his love with me, who hasn't shared his life with me; and yet, I love everything about him. How is that possible one would ask? I mean everything--even the quirky annoying things, even his bad behavior--I love him. Until I met him and until I had all these truly bizarre experiences over the last several years, I didn't know what unconditional love was. I thank you, my beloved twinflame, for teaching me unconditional love.
Did he teach me unconditional love by loving me unconditionally? NO that definitely was not how. He taught me by being who he is at every moment of every day--the good, the bad (sometimes really painful) and the indifferent behavior and parts of himself--I realized that no matter what I truly love this man. It was really a surprising revelation to me. That is pure and true unconditional love. So I went to bed last night with happy thoughts of his head...I love his head...he has a beautiful heart and his face is so full of light. (he doesn't even know and unfortunately, those around him probably haven't really noticed either.) But I do and did....I love his head. (so much so that I can't stop looking at him) :)
I woke up this morning with Raphael nearby along with a few other angels that joined me last night. I asked for a message for my day and they told me to go and pick a card and the card I picked out was New Romance (Angel Messages Deck by Doreen Virtue) and the card was "New romance is imminent - either with a newcomer, or through reignited passion in your existing relationship. Be open to giving and receiving love." I love it! I know it is about me and my twinflame...I feel it today. (By the way, they told me to pick a card because sometimes I negate what I hear simply because I worry it is what I want to hear!)
I am so glad that the month is ending, it is time to usher in new energy in February. I feel anticipation of what is to come. I feel excited today like all good things are happening.
I will leave you on this final note a message from my angels for my people on facebook...Today's Message from the angels is have faith and patience for what you are asking for is on its way to you. This time period is more a testament of believing in oneself versus having to wait for what you want. You are almost there, don't give up before it happens. (I know not always easy words to hear, but if we stay in patience and faith then the outcome is very near, but when we waver it gets further away...trust me I know! Trust me, that is why I am blogging each day about the love I feel for my twinflame. I love you my dear man. I love you. I have faith in you and believe in us.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Day 13: 1111 or 111 is All About Me and My Twinflame
Good Morning World,
My guides have been telling me to hibernate so the whole month of January that is just what I have been doing until yesterday. I spent the day doing readings at a holistic fair. (It is the first fair I have done in a year and quite honestly, I do believe it is my last!) I am such a multidimensional being that being contained in 3D was really hard for me yesterday---and it was more like overstimulation for me in a room with 50-100 people (it felt like a 1000 with all the energy bodies I saw walking around in addition to the human physical bodies).
Anyway, onto my twinflame quest to keep the faith. I like that..because some days it certainly feels like a quest and other days well it is so easy to feel faith in us. I did want to write yesterday, but as I mentioned above not feeling well so I came home and went to bed instead. So I wanted to write about something that I have noticed in the last three weeks really. Now, I know many of you see the phenomenon of 111 or 1111. I used to see it a lot many years ago and throughout the years I would see it too, but other numbers always seemed to stand out for me. Well in the last three weeks of this new year, I see it everyday, but not just once...I see it at 11:11 a.m. and p.m. and 1:11 a.m. and p.m. and then I have 11 mails, 111 mails, 11 phone calls. It is amazing. Not one day has gone by that I have not seen it. Now, globally 11 used to symbolize Awakening...it was like the universal number that says wake up, wake up. I totally understood that and that is why so many people have been seeing it throughout the years. It is the universal wake up call.
However, for me I was told a few months back right before 11:11 that 11 is the number of twinflames. It certainly is for me. The frequency with which I have been seeing it has increased within the last year. The message is that it is happening. Sometimes I wonder if I am seeing it for him too. I mean often I see things in his life through his eyes. He shows me what he is doing by sending images to me. Is he conscious of it? I don't know. Sometimes I think he hasn't a clue and other times, I know he must. He knows I can feel him and he knows I can sense things with him and well this past year he has been waking up ...really waking up for a change and the beautiful thing is that the Angels will not let him fall asleep...they keep poking and prodding him to move along and do what needs to be done, has he done it? I have not talked to him in just over two weeks now so I can't humanly answer it, but I can tell you from a spirit standpoint he is doing something and one of these days I will know because he will show up on my doorstep to prove it to me.
So for me I believe 1111 or 111 or 11 is all about me and my twinflame. It is a reminder to me to stay in faith for it is all happening now. For the first in the nearly 7 years that I have known him, I really do feel it is all happening now. I will let 11 remind me and I welcome that number to come my way for in those moments I know that I love him and that he loves me. I also know it means that it means stay in the faith for it will manifest now.
Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy too...so don't worry if you are thinking that....believe me I do understand. If I was reading all this, I would be thinking the same. As for me today at this moment (I say at this moment, because I can only speak for in this moment because it can fluctuate at any moment.) in this moment, I believe in him and our love....I believe he is nearing the ready. I feel like he is a race horse coming to the gate almost ready to bust out and run...no chasing rabbits...chasing his dreams perhaps...chasing his dreams to me.
My guides have been telling me to hibernate so the whole month of January that is just what I have been doing until yesterday. I spent the day doing readings at a holistic fair. (It is the first fair I have done in a year and quite honestly, I do believe it is my last!) I am such a multidimensional being that being contained in 3D was really hard for me yesterday---and it was more like overstimulation for me in a room with 50-100 people (it felt like a 1000 with all the energy bodies I saw walking around in addition to the human physical bodies).
Anyway, onto my twinflame quest to keep the faith. I like that..because some days it certainly feels like a quest and other days well it is so easy to feel faith in us. I did want to write yesterday, but as I mentioned above not feeling well so I came home and went to bed instead. So I wanted to write about something that I have noticed in the last three weeks really. Now, I know many of you see the phenomenon of 111 or 1111. I used to see it a lot many years ago and throughout the years I would see it too, but other numbers always seemed to stand out for me. Well in the last three weeks of this new year, I see it everyday, but not just once...I see it at 11:11 a.m. and p.m. and 1:11 a.m. and p.m. and then I have 11 mails, 111 mails, 11 phone calls. It is amazing. Not one day has gone by that I have not seen it. Now, globally 11 used to symbolize Awakening...it was like the universal number that says wake up, wake up. I totally understood that and that is why so many people have been seeing it throughout the years. It is the universal wake up call.
However, for me I was told a few months back right before 11:11 that 11 is the number of twinflames. It certainly is for me. The frequency with which I have been seeing it has increased within the last year. The message is that it is happening. Sometimes I wonder if I am seeing it for him too. I mean often I see things in his life through his eyes. He shows me what he is doing by sending images to me. Is he conscious of it? I don't know. Sometimes I think he hasn't a clue and other times, I know he must. He knows I can feel him and he knows I can sense things with him and well this past year he has been waking up ...really waking up for a change and the beautiful thing is that the Angels will not let him fall asleep...they keep poking and prodding him to move along and do what needs to be done, has he done it? I have not talked to him in just over two weeks now so I can't humanly answer it, but I can tell you from a spirit standpoint he is doing something and one of these days I will know because he will show up on my doorstep to prove it to me.
So for me I believe 1111 or 111 or 11 is all about me and my twinflame. It is a reminder to me to stay in faith for it is all happening now. For the first in the nearly 7 years that I have known him, I really do feel it is all happening now. I will let 11 remind me and I welcome that number to come my way for in those moments I know that I love him and that he loves me. I also know it means that it means stay in the faith for it will manifest now.
Sometimes I wonder if I am crazy too...so don't worry if you are thinking that....believe me I do understand. If I was reading all this, I would be thinking the same. As for me today at this moment (I say at this moment, because I can only speak for in this moment because it can fluctuate at any moment.) in this moment, I believe in him and our love....I believe he is nearing the ready. I feel like he is a race horse coming to the gate almost ready to bust out and run...no chasing rabbits...chasing his dreams perhaps...chasing his dreams to me.
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